Healing and Restoration
by greengables22
Summary: Emmett has some tough obstacles to overcome and who better to help than the beautiful Edward. And, as it turns out, Edward may need some support too... This story is all-human and contains slash as well as some mature themes. I am not one for giving away plot points, so you'll just have to read to find out :)
1. Chapter 1

He entered the room and my eyes were drawn immediately to him. He was, in a word, beautiful.

Tall and slim, yet muscular. Wild bronze hair. Piercing emerald green eyes. Full lips curved into a crooked smirk. He wore a tight gray t-shirt with a leather jacket and jeans that hugged him just right, showing off every curve and muscle. He took my breath away.

I couldn't take my eyes off of him. This perfect stranger, who wouldn't remain a stranger very long if I had any say in the matter. I watched as he sauntered up to the counter and signed the ledger. He was masculine and confident and I had every intention of meeting this captivating man.

I didn't realize how obvious my staring was until a nudge to my ribs broke me out of my trance. "Emmett," she whispered, "you're up next."

I looked over at my blonde best friend, and saw that she knew exactly what I had been staring at. Her all-too-knowing smirk made me bite my lip and shrug my shoulders as I tried unsuccessfully not to smile. "What?" I asked as innocently as possible.

"You know exactly what," she hissed. "Now move it!"

"Alright, alright woman. I'm going."

"Good luck," she added as I hastily made my way to the petite girl who had called my name. At least, I guess she called my name. I had been waiting for an hour to hear it and had been too absorbed in thoughts of my mystery man to hear when it finally happened.

Now that I was headed towards her, my heart began to pound in my chest. My palms began to sweat and the nervousness that had dissipated with the distraction of the beautiful man was back in full force.

"Emmett McCarty?" the little mousy woman in front of me asked sweetly.

"Yes, that's me." I answered as calmly as I could manage.

"Right this way." I followed her through the door and down a long narrow hallway to an empty exam room. "The doctor will be with you shortly," she said pleasantly, as if this was a wonderful event that I should be looking forward to. She began closing the door and I hastily added a "Thank you" before it clicked shut. I wiped my now dripping palms on my jeans and exhaled a shaky breath.

This was it. The day I had been simultaneously anticipating and dreading. I would finally learn the results of my tests. To say I was scared would be a gross understatement. I breathed in deep, trying not to freak out.

This whole thing was so strange. I was a healthy guy. Fit and in shape. I ran track in high school and had continued to lift weights and run daily in college. But there are some things that can't be helped. Like inherited genes and…

The door began to open slowly and I sucked in a sharp breath. This was it. My life would be forever altered, whether for good or for bad. I just didn't know which yet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Dr. Cullen entered the room with a friendly smile. He was a handsome man in his forties. He possessed a strong masculine build and an open, honest personality. His dirty blonde hair and killer smile were eye-catching. But I couldn't focus on his good looks today. There were more important things to think of.

He interrupted my silent musings. "Hello Emmett. How are you today?"

"Ok…" I began. "Actually I'm a bit nervous, to be honest."

He nodded in understanding. "Well, let's get it over with then shall we?" he said with a reassuring smile. He pulled up a chair next to the examining table, where I was sitting. He seemed calm and at ease, which I took as a good sign. Though I am sure he has had a lot of practice delivering both good and bad news. I could only pray that mine would be the good kind.

Taking a deep breath he began, "Emmett, as I am sure you are aware, your test results have come back. That is why you have been called here today. Are you ready to hear them?"

He paused and looked to me for confirmation. I gave him a nod and he continued…

I walked back down the hallway towards the waiting room on auto-pilot. My mind was a fuzzy jumble and I could barely focus enough to watch where I was going. I opened the door and smacked right into someone. I mumbled a quick sorry and glanced at the victim of my clumsy stupidity.

Of course, it was the beautiful man. Great Emmett. Just great. A few minutes ago I would have given anything to meet him and here he was, right in front of me. I had been handed an opportunity too good to pass up. But, unfortunately, I wasn't in a position to care. I couldn't think straight. I must have been staring like an idiot because he raised his eyebrows and asked softly, "Hey, are you okay?" His voice was kind and smooth and so sexy.

"What?" I was jerked out of my haze for a moment. "Oh…yeah. I'm fine. Sorry, I bumped into you man."

"It's okay," he managed to get out as I brushed by him to get to the only person that I cared to see right now, my Rosie. I could feel his questioning gaze on me as I walked away, but I couldn't be bothered. My eyes connected with Rose's concerned hazel ones and she jumped up, pulling me into a hug. No words were spoken. No words were needed. She knew and I knew that things were never going to be the same.

I held onto her tightly, afraid to let go and face reality. She rubbed soothing circles on my back and just held me silently, comfortingly. Eventually, I pulled back and looked into her worried eyes. I didn't want to worry her. But there wasn't much I could do about that now.

"Come on Em," she said as she grabbed my hand tightly, "Let's get you home."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The entire car ride home, I stared out the window. Looking, but seeing nothing. My mind hadn't quite processed everything. The reality of it all just hadn't sunk in yet and I was content to keep it that way for as long as possible.

Rose kept quiet, giving me my space. I couldn't have asked for a better friend than Rose. Most people looked at her and saw a mean and conceited snob. But I knew better. Underneath the façade, she was a fiercely loyal friend who would do anything for the ones she loved. Not many got to see that side of her and I was grateful to have her in my life.

I'll never forget the day we met. It was the summer before sixth grade. That was an awful year for me and I had become quiet and withdrawn. The fun-loving kid with a smile for everyone had vanished and my so-called friends had vanished with him. They no longer wanted anything to do with me and I was drowning my sorrows in an ice cream cone at the park. Since it was only a few blocks away from home, I was allowed to go by myself, of which I took full advantage.

I spent more time there than at home that summer, never talking to or interacting with anyone. Those days were spent in solitude. Eating ice cream or people watching or staring into space, whatever, it was done in the confines of Hilltop Park.

I was a scrawny kid back then. I got picked on a lot, particularly after I stopped engaging in any sorts of activities with my peers. Kids that had previously been friends began to join in the teasing. It hurt, but I tried not to let it get to me. What did it matter, anyway? Nothing mattered to me anymore. I was eleven years old and life no longer held any joy for me.

As I headed towards my favorite bench, the one with the best view of the valley below, my ice cream was suddenly knocked from my grasp. I could only watch as it flew steadily to the ground and landed upside down on the concrete.

I heard several snickers and looked up to face my biggest tormentor, James, and a few of his sidekicks. "Hey Emmett, why don't ya watch where you're going," James mocked as he roughly shoved me aside. Before I had a chance to react, one of his buddies punched me in the gut. This wasn't the first time I'd been beaten up and I knew it was pointless to fight back. I braced myself and silently prayed that they'd get bored with me and move on.

Awaiting the next punch, I closed my eyes. But, something was off. Too much time had passed with no contact. I hesitantly reopened my eyes to see what the hold-up was. Everyone was turned away from me and looking at the prettiest girl I'd ever seen. Apparently the guys thought so too and James' mouth was agape as he openly stared.

I had never seen her before, but I was undeniably grateful for her impeccable timing. I tried to stealthily back away from the group while they were distracted. But no such luck. Although his eyes were trained on the girl, James reached back and grabbed hold of my wrist.

The girl continued to stride forward until she was directly in front of James and me. She was tall, taller than any of us, with long flowing blonde hair. She was curvy and fashionable. She looked like a freaking supermodel.

"Hey baby," James said, recovering his swagger. "Lookin' good. I'm James." He looked her up and down as he spoke, unabashedly checking her out. Without missing a beat she cocked her arm and punched him square in the jaw. As he fell back, dropping his hold on me, she icily replied, "I'm Rose. Nice to meet you, James."

Rose took over James' hold on my wrist and pulled me along behind her. My own mouth was now open, in shock. I'd never seen anyone stand up to James, let alone a girl and a pretty one at that. I followed her out of the park and down the street, neither of us speaking a word. When she finally halted I tried to stutter out my thanks, but she put a gentle hand on my chest and stopped me. "Just forget it," she said firmly. And that was that. Our friendship had begun. We never talked about what happened that day. But, James quit harassing me and Rose and I became inseparable.

"Hey Em," Rose said softly, pulling me out of my reminiscence. "We're here."

Hand in hand we headed up to my apartment. It was time to face reality. I didn't want to. I really didn't want to. But, it was necessary. And with Rose by my side, I just might make it through this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Back in my apartment Rose pulled me to the couch and put a pillow on her lap, patting it for me to lay my head down. She knew that I wasn't ready to talk yet and was trying to comfort me in the only way she could. I lay on my side, head on the downy pillow, and she began to stroke her fingers through my hair in a soothing motion.

My eyes began to water as my thoughts raced from the past to the future and back again. I had been expecting this day for years. It seemed inevitable. But now that it was here, I realized that I had been holding out hope that it wouldn't come. Yet come it did and there was no changing it.

My Dad died when I was eleven years old. To be more specific, he died on my eleventh birthday. It was the end of his two year battle with cancer and the worst day of my life. Looking back now, I know that it was a blessing of sorts. The treatments he underwent only served to make him weaker and he just wasn't Dad anymore. He was suffering and his death put an end to that pain. But, at the time, I didn't see it that way.

I went into a depression and became a sullen and introverted boy. My friends gave up on me along with everyone else. I became labeled as a slacker by my teachers and my Mom was beside herself with her own grief, not to mention the worry that I was causing her. The future was looking very bleak.

Rose had been my saving grace in those days. She pulled me back out of my shell and forced me to live my life, rather than wallow in despair. After she stood up to James, we began to meet at the park every day. We just clicked. She got me, without my having to explain it to her.

Rose had been through her own set of troubles, before moving into the neighborhood, and had become stronger as a result. She shared that strength with me and became my rescue. We spent the rest of the summer together and have been a united front ever since. I never would have made it, if not for her.

We pushed each other and made each other better. She was everything I could want in a partner or friend. Most people thought we were a couple, especially as we got older. But, not long after my Dad's death, I realized that I was just not into girls. I figured that if Rose didn't do it for me, no girl would.

My sexual orientation remained unspoken between us for years. Rose had tons of boyfriends, but she never bugged me about dating or school dances. I don't know how or when she figured it out, but she did. When I finally came out, as a sophomore in high school, I went to her first. She just gave me a big hug and said, "Oh honey, I know." She stuck by me completely and stood up for me unconditionally. Though, by my high school years, I had physically changed, a lot. Most guys were too intimidated to bother me. I was six foot tall and well-built from my time running track, swimming, and weight lifting. Nobody messed with me, at least not to my face.

I knew not everyone would accept me, but if Rose had rejected me, I would have been lost. She was more accepting than my own mother, although Mom came around after nearly a year. She just didn't understand how such a masculine and "normal" boy could suddenly "become gay." Although she didn't approve of me, at first, she never stopped loving me and treating me with respect. It was my "choice" that she didn't accept, not me.

She began attending a support group and learned a lot. She had grown up in a small mid-western town and had never been faced with anything like this. It took some time, but she came to realize that I did not suddenly become gay, nor was it a decision. It was a part of me and she came to accept and love me fully and is now a strong advocate for the gay community and even runs her own PFLAG chapter.

I always wondered how my Dad would have reacted to the knowledge that his son was gay. I'd like to think that he'd have come to accept me, as Mom had, but of course I have no way of knowing that for sure.

Thinking of Dad made my watery eyes spill over. I knew once the crying started that I wouldn't be able to stop, so I didn't bother trying. Rose continued her gentle ministrations as I let out all the worry and fear through my tears.

I had been taught to do self exams a couple years after my father's death and had done so unfailingly, at least once a month or more, for years. Each time, I was hit with uncontrollable nerves as I faced the possibility of following the same path as my Dad. And each time, I would breathe a sigh of relief and try to push the anxiety to the back of my mind. I tried my best to live in the present, without focusing on what might happen in the future. The future was uncertain and worrying about it wouldn't change it anyhow.

But, last month, I felt something during my self-exam. It was small, barely noticeable really, and I first thought maybe it was in my head. But, instinctively, I knew that it wasn't. I called Rose and she convinced me to call the doctor either way. If I was imagining things, it would be better to feel stupid and laugh about it later, than to overlook it.

Dr. Cullen was one of the best. He was a specialist and had worked closely with my Dad's former doctor. He knew about my situation and gave me my yearly exam and check-up. When I called, my appointment was set up immediately. I had two days to prepare, mentally, for the very real possibility that I too could have cancer.

"Hey," Rose started softly, almost hesitantly. It was so unlike Rose to be uncertain, but this wasn't a normal situation. I turned my head minutely towards her and she gave me a sad smile, as she wiped away some of my tears.

"Come on, Em," she continued. "Let me fix you something to eat and we'll talk?"

I breathed shakily and nodded my head, sitting up. She pulled me in for a tight hug and went off to the kitchen to scrounge something up for us to eat. Not that I had much of an appetite, but I didn't want to worry Rose anymore than I already was.

"So," Rose started as we sat down to eat, "What did Dr. Cullen say?"

This was it. The moment of truth. Once I said it out loud, it would be real. I steeled myself and replied quietly, "It's cancer."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Rose had to know what I was going to say, but that didn't stop her sharp intake of breath when I finally said that word aloud. Cancer. We could no longer pretend that it wasn't real. Rose didn't tell me it would all be okay, because there was a strong possibility that it wouldn't. Instead, she reached across the table and squeezed my hand.

"Em, we're going to do whatever Dr. Cullen says and you are going to get through this." She spoke fiercely and with conviction. Who was I to contradict her? I hoped that she was right.

I nodded and started to explain further, "I guess it could be worse. We actually caught it really early, it's still stage one at this point."

"That's good news," Rose interjected.

"Yeah…it is. It's just…" I trailed off uncertainly.

"What is it Emmett?"

"I'm scared Rose."

"I know you are," she said while squeezing my hand tighter, "I'm scared too. But, one way or another, we need to deal with this and Dr. Cullen is so good at what he does. If anyone can help you beat this, he can."

"I know," I practically whispered, "It's just…what if we can't. Beat it, I mean."

I looked up into her eyes, which were glassy with unshed tears. "Emmett, don't talk like that," she stated firmly. Her voice was sure, not betraying the emotions that her eyes held. "Just take it one step at a time, okay?"

"Yeah, you're right. You're always right Rosie."

"You know it!" she boasted with a smile.

...

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

...

Life had been fairly ordinary over the past few weeks. I got up, went to work, came home, worked out, and basically kept myself as preoccupied as possible so I wouldn't have to think about what was going on with my body. I felt pretty normal, other than the fact that I was missing a testicle. That's where my cancer was located and it had been removed as the first form of treatment and testing. Its removal was how I learned of my Stage One Testicular Cancer nearly a month ago. The day my life changed.

Today would be my first time to return to Dr. Cullen's office. We had spoken over the phone a couple of times to clarify things and ask questions of one another. Since my cancer is stage one, I have to go for a round of tests every few months. Blood tests, CT scans, and other fun junk like that. I'm considered in remission unless these tests show otherwise. This is the first round and I am terrified.

I told Rose not to take off work this time; that I could handle things by myself. And really, I can. I'm a big boy and there's not much she could do for me anyway, except sit around in a waiting room for hours. I promised to call her as soon as my appointment is through.

Upon entering the office, I signed the ledger and took my seat. I started to shake my leg in nervous anticipation and prepared to wait. My mind began to wander to the last time I was in this office. I have thought about it daily, but had completely forgotten about the beautiful man in the waiting room. Mmm. Those gorgeous green eyes, his fitted jeans, his whole persona called to me. I had honestly never been more attracted to someone in my life. How could I not have gotten his number; or at the very least, made less of a fool of myself? But, I guess I was a bit preoccupied.

I really didn't know anything about him. Other than that he was the single-most striking man I had ever seen. Was he even attracted to men? Was he sick too? I had no clue, but this office was located in the oncology wing of the hospital.

I found myself watching each time the door opened, hoping that he might walk through it. I had no idea what I'd do if he did, but just about anything would be better than our initial interaction. My cell, which I had forgotten to shut off, vibrated with a text from Rose.

_**Hey honey! Good luck today. Call me after. Love you – Rosie :)**_

I responded quickly before turning off my cell.

_**Thanks. You know I will. Love you woman!**_

As I stowed my powered down phone into my pocket, I looked up and gasped silently. My beautiful man was back. What were the chances of that? Seriously? My memory hadn't done him justice at all. He was even more gorgeous than I had remembered. He moved his perfect frame from the front desk, where he'd just signed in, to find a seat adjacent from me. His clothing hugged his body deliciously and I bit my bottom lip to stop the groan that had threatened to escape at the sight of him. I stared, trying to come up with an opening line, when his dazzling green eyes flickered to mine. He held my gaze for a moment and smiled a small crooked smirk before looking away again. Oh my lord, he was hot.

I had to man up, it was now or never. I may never see this wonderful creature again. I swallowed my fear and plunged ahead, "Hey man. How's it going?" I tried to speak casually, despite my racing heart and the intense desire he evoked in me.

He slowly raised his eyes to mine and replied with sexy confidence, "Not too bad." He sighed and ran his hand through his uniquely colored bronze locks. My eyes followed the movement automatically and my fingers twitched, wanting to take over the action for him. "I'm actually just waiting for my father."

I was surprised by his statement, but glad that he seemed willing to engage in a conversation. "Oh, so you're not a patient then?" I asked.

"No. Neither is my father." He left it at that and I wasn't sure what to say in response. But, luckily, he continued on, "My father is a doctor here and I meet up with him once a week."

"Oh," I responded lamely. I paused for a minute and then said, "So, this is probably a stupid question, but why do you sign in at the front desk then?"

He actually chuckled at my statement, making his features more stunning, if that were even possible. I resolved to make him light up that way more often.

"Well," he answered, "It's kind of a running joke we have going…that he's so busy, the only time I can see him is if I make an appointment. So, I sign in at the front desk and it gives him a laugh." He shrugged.

"That's actually kind of cool." I said in reply. "I wish I could have something like that with my Dad."

"Well, why can't you?" He asked sincerely.

I wasn't sure if I really wanted to get into my whole history within five minutes of meeting him, but I also had no reason to hold back. "Actually," I began, "my Dad…"

"Emmett McCarty?" My name was called by the same little woman from my last appointment. As I stood up to go, I couldn't resist the chance to learn his name.

"I'm Emmett McCarty," I said as I offered him my hand. He shook it firmly in his own and countered, "Edward Cullen. It was nice meeting you Emmett."

Finally a name, and Dr. Cullen's son no less. Hearing my name come from those luscious full lips…there are no words. My fingers were tingling as I dazedly said, "You too Edward."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"So Emmett, how are you today?" I didn't even register that he had spoken until he cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows, smiling.

"Oh, I'm sorry Dr. Cullen. I guess I'm a little distracted." If only he knew that his sexy son was the cause of my inattention.

"Well, it's a pleasant distraction, I hope?"

I couldn't help the smile that broke out on my face, "Yes, sir."

"That's good to hear, son." He responded kindly, causing my to heart contract at the use of the word. I'd been seeing Dr. Cullen for years, but he'd never used that term with me before. I really liked it. "I'll be performing a few tests and then my assistant Bella will take over from there."

Dr. Cullen was friendly and efficient as he worked on me. After awhile, the lingering effects of my encounter with Edward were beginning to wear off and the seriousness of my situation was settling in. When these tests came back, I'd either be cancer free or have to begin radiation or chemotherapy treatments. And even if I were cancer free, I'd have to repeat the same process in a couple of months. This realization weighed heavily on me and my breathing started to become labored. I felt my chest constricting and my heart began beating wildly.

"Emmett?" Dr. Cullen questioned, "Is everything okay?"

I tried to calm myself before I spoke. "Uh…yeah. I think I just started to panic a little."

"Just breathe. It's okay. That's a perfectly natural reaction. This is a lot to handle. Do you have a support system Emmett? Having the encouragement of loved ones is an important part of the recovery process."

I answered without hesitation. "Yes. My best friend Rose…she's my anchor. I know I couldn't do this without her."

"Well, then you are lucky to have her in your life." He seemed to ponder something for a moment and then continued cautiously, "What about your mother?"

"Yeah…uh…about that. I haven't actually told her yet."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise but didn't speak right away. "Emmett, you are a grown man now and I won't tell you what to do. But, I think you should consider telling your mother about this. I know things were difficult… with your father's illness. However, your situation is different and I think it would benefit both of you to be open and honest about this."

I opened my mouth to reply, but he continued, "Please Emmett. You don't have to respond to that. It's not my place to interfere, but I wanted you to know how I felt. At least consider it. And I would also recommend attending a support group, even if your test results are negative. Just think about it, okay?"

"Okay. I will sir…and…thank you, for caring."

He squeezed my shoulder and said, "Just remember that you're not alone Emmett. There are people who love you and want to be there for you." He walked over and made a few notes on my chart before adding, "Bella should be by in a few minutes to finish up your tests. I am off to have lunch with my son, Edward."

My heart started pounding again, but for a different reason this time. Just the mention of his name set my body on fire. "I, um, actually met your son today when I was in the waiting room Dr. Cullen."

"Did you, now?" he smiled. "I think you and Edward probably have a lot in common. Well, I'll be in touch soon Emmett, and please think about what I said."

"Sure thing Doc. Thanks." I sighed roughly as Dr. Cullen exited the room. Oh how I hoped Edward and I had things in common. Maybe one day I'd have the chance to discover what those things might be. I'd like to learn that and a whole lot more about that beautiful man. Edward…just thinking his name, sent a little thrill through my heart. Hey, it doesn't hurt to dream. And Edward was a dream come to life.

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

I called Rose to fill her in on my appointment, but put off calling my Mom. Planning to wait, at least until these latest test results came in. I just couldn't face her yet. I decided to stay in for the evening and tried to keep my mind off of my worries. I surfed around the internet a bit, played some video games, and generally tried to relax. It didn't work that well and I chose to turn in early, seeing no point in prolonging the day. But, as I lay there, I realized that I really wasn't all that tired.

I let my mind wander and it, unsurprisingly, drifted to Edward. I thought of his strong jaw, his broad shoulders, his trim waist, and the glorious way that he filled out his jeans. As I catalogued his features, I felt myself growing hard. I hadn't had an erection since before my surgery, partially due to the recovery and healing time needed and partially due to my frame of mind. I had been feeling down and hadn't allowed myself to entertain any sort of sexual thoughts or fantasies.

Dr. Cullen had said that it was perfectly safe now for me to engage in any type of sexual encounter, as long as I felt up to it. Well I looked at my body and it was certainly on its way up. I slipped out of my boxer-briefs, and let my fingers ghost over my still hardening length. I closed my eyes and pictured Edward's face. He was smirking sexily as he looked me up and down. Then his piercing emerald eyes met and locked on mine. My breath hitched in my throat, even at this mental image, and my hand began to slowly stroke my length.

I reached my other hand up to pinch and tease my sensitive nipples. My imaginary Edward was watching me with unveiled interest. He couldn't take his eyes off of me, nor I him. It had been so long since my last orgasm, and I knew it wouldn't take much for me to climax. I remembered the way he said my name and I moaned, arching my back to the pleasure it brought me. There could be nothing sexier than my name on his lips. In my mind, he kept saying my name over and over, as I stroked myself harder. It was like an encouraging chant that only served to bring me closer to the edge.

I felt myself tightening and wondered briefly if everything would work right down there and if I would be able to ejaculate normally. I quickly banished the thought from my mind and focused on my Edward. He reached out as if to touch me and called my name yet again. I softly groaned out my reply, "I'm coming, Edward, I'm coming." My physical reaction matched my words and I came forcefully while thrusting into my hand. After I recovered I looked down and was pleased to see my sheets covered in a sticky, milky white substance. As strange as that may sound, it meant that I could perform normally and with that thought in mind, I fell into a deep and contented slumber. The best I'd had in over a month.

**AN: I hope you are enjoying this story. I am working hard to update, mainly, because I can't get it off my mind. Emmett refuses to be ignored. Also, I am leaving soon for a camping trip and won't be updating for a while. So, if you have the time, I would love some feedback. Thanks so much for reading! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I got the call, from Dr. Cullen's office, on a Thursday and Rosie immediately planned a celebration weekend. She really wanted to take me clubbing, but I wasn't quite sold on the idea. As much as I loved to dance, the club scene wasn't really my thing. I don't do one night stands and that is all most of those guys are looking for. But, I guess it couldn't hurt to let loose and have a little fun. It had been over a year since my last relationship and I missed the comfort of lying in someone's arms. I knew this would be good for me, so I gave in and told Rose that I would go.

She made me dinner on Friday night, and we spent the whole evening hanging out at her place. We ate junk food and watched terrible movies. It was awesome to be able to relax and spend some stress-free time together. Then Saturday arrived, and Rose insisted on coming over to help me get ready. Apparently, I am unable to dress myself properly. I happen to think that I do just fine, but I didn't protest. When that woman put her mind to something, she always got her way. It was easier to just give in from the start and let her enjoy herself.

Rose looked gorgeous, as always. Her blonde hair was styled in soft curls that flowed down her bare back. She had on an extremely sexy red dress, which hugged and showed off every curve. Although I wasn't attracted to women, I could still appreciate the female form. Rose thrived on attention and she would certainly get plenty of it tonight.

She chose my outfit for the evening and had me dressed in fitted, dark-wash jeans and a topaz t-shirt that rivaled the tightness of her dress. She paired this with a trendy black jacket. Apparently blue was my color and it brought out my eyes. Whatever. I honestly didn't worry about that sort of thing, at least not on myself. I was a good-looking guy, but I didn't try too hard.

"Emmett, you are seriously hot." Rose said with pride as she pushed me in front of the hall mirror on our way to the door. I had to admit that she knew what she was doing and told her as much.

"You're the best Rosie." I said with a smile. "Just don't get too used to the whole Emmett dress-up doll idea."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say." She teased good-naturedly.

"And, by the way, you're the one who's hot, woman."

"You think?"

"Oh, come off it Rose. You know you're going to be the best-looking woman there."

She couldn't help the knowing smirk that took over her face, but simply shrugged and said, "Well, I guess we better go and find out. But, seriously Em, you look really great. The guys are gonna be all over you."

I shrugged noncommittally as she grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door. We took a taxi to the club, mostly to avoid the hassle of parking. Neither of us were big drinkers. We were there to let loose, dance, and have a good time. Since Rose was the organizer of the evening, I followed her obediently in and out of several clubs before we entered the right one. Or at least one that was up to Rosie's high standards. _All the Rage_ had recently opened and it had a fun, yet sophisticated atmosphere. We entered and several catcalls were directed our way. Where Rose craved the attention, I was a little unnerved by it. On an individual basis, it wasn't too bad, but having a group of guys descend on you is a bit overwhelming for me.

We strolled over to the bar and enjoyed a drink, on the house, thanks to Rose's impeccable flirting skills. Mine was non-alcoholic, as I had to be especially careful even when in remission. The music was loud, with a heavy beat, and my eyes roved over the swarm of grinding bodies. The place was packed with what appeared to be a good mix of people. In fact, _All the Rage_ seemed to appeal to both the gay and straight crowd.

Several eyes turned our way, but I couldn't be sure which one of us they were directed at. We did make for a fairly eye-catching couple. But, then again, neither of us wanted to give off the impression of being taken. I grabbed hold of Rose's hand and spun her out to the dance floor. We laughed and swayed to the beat for a few songs and it was really freeing. I felt lighter than I had in a long time and couldn't keep the grin off my face. I had to hand it to Rose, who usually knew what I needed better than I did.

Rose leaned in close to my ear and said, "I'm going to head to the ladies room for a sec. You okay?"

I just nodded and continued to dance. I loved that woman, but she could be a bit overprotective at times. The feeling was mutual though, so I couldn't complain too much.

As soon as my best friend stepped away the predators began to descend. Eager bottoms and aggressive tops alike saw an opening and prepared to strike. I was picky when it came to the men I dated. I didn't go for just anyone. These men wanted only one thing, and that was not what I was looking for. Sure, I'd go for a dance, but further than that was not an option. Still, I always tried to be kind and let them down as gently as possible. Unless, of course, they were jerks. It happened more often than not, that a pushy man just wouldn't take no for an answer. It was because of guys like this that I so often avoided the club scene.

After sending a few hopefuls on their way, I was grinding with a cute redhead, and surveying the room. My dance partner was friendly and fun to groove with, but that was about it. My gaze met Rose's and she shrugged apologetically. If I was selective about men, Rose was downright persnickety. She easily evaded the advances of the brave few who dared to approach her. She really was a knock-out and a very intimidating one, at that.

My girl winked at me and headed to pick up a man of her own. I saw her catch the eye of a tall hunk with shaggy blonde hair. He looked a bit rough around the edges and I could see the hint of a tattoo peeking out from the sleeve of his black v-neck tee. Rose definitely went for the bad boy type and he fit her tastes precisely. The only things that seemed out of place were his cowboy boots.

She sauntered towards him and he met her halfway. As they began to dance he leaned in to say something and her face lit up. Rose deserved some happiness in her life and someone who would treat her well. Maybe this could be the guy for her.

As the current song ended, I politely extracted myself from mister red. It was time to move on to someone with a little more potential. I headed to the bar for some water, and took the opportunity to scope out a new dance partner. There were some very hot guys here tonight, but no one really stuck out and captured my attention. No one made my nerves tingle the way Edward had. _Edward_. I barely knew him, but I couldn't shake the powerful hold that he had over me. I had been in his presence for less than ten minutes total and I was completely hooked.

I continued to survey the room and was beginning to consider heading home. Rose seemed to be having a great time and could certainly handle herself. I'd kind of gotten over the thrill of being here. The guy I wanted to be with wasn't here, and I really wasn't looking to find a mediocre substitute. I was still debating internally, when a throat cleared next to me. Well, there goes that plan. Now I've got to be nice and deal with another guy.

I gulped down the rest of my water and turned to face him. "Hey there," he said with a slight smirk. "I thought I recognized you. It's Emmett right?"

Thank God I had finished my water before looking, or I probably would have choked on it. There, standing before me, was perfection personified. No one in the room mattered any longer. I only had eyes for the unbelievably gorgeous, Edward Cullen.

**AN: Okay folks, this is the last chapter you'll see for at least a week. I'll try to update soon after that. Let me know what you think so far!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Hey, I'm back! Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me this far. I just spent an incredible week surrounded by nature, completely separated from the "real world." It was an awesome and spiritual experience. Take some time out this week to get away from it all, even if just for a few minutes, and just be still. Well, without further ado…I hope it was worth the wait!**

**Chapter 8**

He was looking exceptionally hot tonight. My eyes traveled up and down his form, missing nothing. His bronze hair was tousled even more than usual, giving him a freshly sexed look. I couldn't help the involuntary shiver that arose as I imagined myself as the cause of that wild hair. My gaze continued downward, past his full kissable lips, taking in his lean muscular build. He wore a simple brown cashmere sweater, which complimented his hair and eyes, along with low rise jeans that hugged his hips just right. This man was trouble. He was too beautiful for his own good.

At some point in my examination of his many assets, I remembered that he had spoken to me and was awaiting an answer. I looked back into those expressive green eyes and realized he was well aware that I had been checking him out. But, the twinkle in his eye, combined with that oh so sexy smirk, suggested that it didn't bother him at all.

"Uh, yes," I finally responded. "I'm Emmett. Good to see you again Edward." My stomach twisted in pleasure as his name left my lips. I hoped I'd get to repeat it often.

"So what brings you out tonight Emmett?"

"I'm, uh…celebrating with my best friend, Rose." I didn't really want to get into my medical history and prayed I'd been vague enough to escape further questioning.

"So what's the occasion?" he asked.

Yeah, that plan didn't work out so well. I tried to keep things light, answering, "I got some good news this week and she wanted to take me out. That woman doesn't take no for an answer." He smiled and I decided it was time to make a move and put myself out there.

"So, do you dance?" I asked.

"Well…that depends." He replied seriously.

"On…?" I prompted.

"On who's asking." He countered with a shrug.

This was my make or break moment, and I had to take the chance. What's the worst that could happen? He could say no and I could go back to enjoying the fantasy Edward. Or he might even say yes…

"I'm asking," I stated firmly. "So, what do you say?"

He downed the rest of his drink and took my hand in his.

"So that's a yes?" I asked for confirmation.

"Yes. That's a yes." He said with a crooked smile.

The blood was rushing in my veins as I led Edward through the crowd. I stopped near the middle of the dance floor and turned to face my gorgeous man. We began to move to the beat and although I could hold my own, he really knew how to work his body. His motions were flowing and sensual and it gave me a good indication of some other types of moves he would be good at. I knew that I was smiling like an idiot, but I couldn't help myself.

As time wore on, we gradually moved closer to each other, as if magnetized. He brought one hand up to lightly grip my waist and gave me a wink. I mimicked his move and rested my own hand on his hip. I pulled him gently towards me and brought my other hand around to rest between his shoulder blades, essentially hugging him as we continued to dance. He positioned his mouth next to my ear, so he could be heard above the music and said, "You are gorgeous Emmett." I felt myself harden at his words and his close proximity.

He pulled in closer still and began to run his hands over my arms and back as he rocked his pelvis against mine. I groaned and leaned into him saying, "No, Edward. You are the beautiful one and you are driving me crazy."

He answered immediately, "That's the plan." He pulled back and smiled mischievously before turning in my arms and stopping with his back to my chest. I stepped forward a bit, so there was no space in between us and began to grind my now straining erection into him. The things this man did to me. He tilted his head back, leaning it against my shoulder and I watched as his eyes closed in pleasure.

This was pure bliss, dancing with Edward in my arms. I took a glance around the room and saw several envious glares pointed my way. I couldn't blame them. If he'd been dancing with another man, I'd have been jealous too. But he wasn't. Edward Cullen was dancing in my arms tonight.

I began running my hands over his chest and abs, reveling in the soft texture of the cashmere over the hard planes of muscle underneath. As we continued to grind together, the lower region of my body was becoming a little too excited. I needed to take a break before my problem became too much to handle. Thankfully, I spotted Rose and excused myself to let her know I didn't plan on sharing a cab back with her.

"That's my Rose over there," I said as I pointed her out to Edward. "Just give me a sec and I'll be right back."

He nodded and I walked away hoping with everything inside me that he'd wait and not move on to someone else. I'm sure he could have his pick of any guy, or girl for that matter. Rose was sitting on a bar stool and chatting it up with her gruffly handsome bad boy. She saw me approaching and waved me over.

"Hey Em, are you having a good time?" She said as I pulled her in for a quick hug.

"Yeah Rosie," I answered. "Hey, um, are you okay to go home on your own?" I glanced at her blonde, who had stepped back a bit to give us some privacy, and smiled. "Or at least with someone other than me?" I raised my eyebrows at her and nodded my head towards her guy.

She smacked my chest, but laughed, "Sure buddy. You got somethin' going on too?"

"Uh, yeah…remember the guy from the waiting room? Edward?" I inquired.

"Oh, my gosh! You're kidding me! That's great Em, where is he?" A hyper Rose was rare, and she was practically bouncing out of her seat in excitement.

I turned to point him out and saw Edward leaning against the wall and watching us closely. He hadn't gone and found someone else at all. He was waiting for me! I gave him a little nod and turned back to my giddy best friend.

"Are you taking him home, Em?"

"I don't know Rose. I really…just…I don't know." It wasn't that I didn't want to take him home and ravish him. Believe me, I did. But, I was kind of falling for him and wanted more than just a one night stand. I barely knew anything about him, but the connection I felt was so strong. I wanted it to last.

"Oh come on, live on the edge a little babe. You deserve to have some fun." She put her hand on my cheek and looked directly into my eyes. "Don't worry Em. Just for once, let go. Okay?"

"Okay," I agreed.

"Good," she smiled, satisfied. "Hey Em, before you go, I want you to meet my… someone other than you." She stood up and introduced us, "Emmett this is Jasper. Jasper, meet my best friend Emmett."

I shook his hand saying, "It's good to meet you man."

He lifted his head in acknowledgement and replied, "You too." He turned to Rose, "You wanna get outta here darlin'?" Well, that explained the cowboy boots. He was obviously from the south and that accent of his was sexy. Rose nodded, gave me another hug and squeezed my hand before taking hold of Jasper's and following him out of the club. One of us, at least, would be having some fun tonight.

I grabbed a couple waters, while I was near the bar, and headed back to Edward. He was still leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets and one leg crossed in front of the other. The picture of ease, he watched me walk back towards him and I could swear I saw him checking me out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**AN: Thanks so much for the reviews, alerts, and favorites. They really mean a lot and I love hearing your feedback. Enjoy :)**

After closing out _All the Rage_, Edward and I shared a cab to my place and couldn't keep our hands off each other. We leaned against one another, limbs intertwined, as I stroked my fingers gently up and down his thigh. He held my free hand and drew patterns into my palm. The sexual tension was escalating quickly and if I didn't get some release soon I was going to spontaneously combust.

As we headed to my apartment, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his body flush with mine. He began lightly kissing my neck and my hands fumbled with the keys while I struggled to keep from taking him right there in the hallway. I closed the door and my back was immediately pushed up against it. I was overcome with delight when Edward's luscious lips crashed into mine. The kiss was frantic and needy and it ended way too soon. He pulled back quickly and smirked, "I have been waiting to do that all night."

I brought my hand up to his face and traced his jaw line before cupping the nape of his neck and pulling him forward. "Me too," I breathed as I kissed him back. This kiss was slow and tender. We brushed our mouths together a few times before I gently took his bottom lip between mine and suckled it. I nipped it lightly with my teeth. He moaned and his tongue flitted out to lick my own lip and I eagerly opened my mouth to him. Our tongues swept back and forth in a sensual dance and I shuddered with pleasure. His touch was like a live wire that set my body on fire.

We continued to make out against the door, lips and hands exploring one another. He was rocking his hips into me and I could feel his erection rubbing against mine. Even through our layers of clothing, the sensation was marvelous. It had been so long since I was with someone and I was embarrassingly close to losing it. I had to get a little space between us before I blew my load right there. That could not happen. Emmett McCarty does not jizz in his pants. Ever. I gave him a final lingering kiss before pulling back with a smile.

"Come on in, Edward. Have a seat. Can I get you anything? I have water or juice, coffee maybe?"

He cocked his head and smiled a little at my nervous chatter. "Just water would be fine, thanks."

My lips were still tingling as I went to the fridge and grabbed our drinks. If the simple act of kissing could get me this flustered, I couldn't imagine how other more intimate activities would feel. I came back out to find Edward perched comfortably on the sofa. He looked really good in my living room. Seeing him there, just felt right. I joined him and turned my body to face his. I needed to get to know this beautiful man.

"So, Edward, tell me about yourself. All I know is that you're Dr. Cullen's son… and you have an amazing mouth."

I winked and smiled at him and he returned his own crooked grin to me, running his hand through his wild hair before answering.

"Well, I am studying to be a doctor and in my second year of med school."

"That's awesome," I said, impressed. "Where are you going to school?"

"The University of Pittsburgh." My eyes widened but I didn't have time to respond before he continued on, "I did my undergrad at the University of Chicago, though. Actually, I double majored in Biology and Music. It's an odd combination, I know. But, I guess it was my way of rebelling against my father. He had always wanted me to become a doctor and I agreed unquestioningly. Then it came to the point where I wasn't sure if I wanted it or if I was just trying to please him. For my own peace of mind, I wanted another type of degree to fall back on. And music seemed like the perfect fit. But I think I always knew, deep down, that I intended to work in medicine."

It was the most he had ever spoken to me and I would have been content to listen to that sexy voice forever. I needed to keep him talking. Plus I wanted to know more about him.

"Why Chicago?" I asked.

"With my father's crazy schedule, I never had the chance to travel much. And after high school, I couldn't wait to get out of Pittsburgh. I guess it was another way to separate myself from my father. I loved my time in Chicago, but I missed the burgh and decided to move back. So here I am. What about you?"

"Well, I am a burgh man through and through. I grew up here and am a Pitt grad myself," I smiled as his face mirrored my earlier expression of surprise. "Yeah… But, uh, we wouldn't have been there at the same time. I know I would have noticed you, if we had," I supplied honestly.

"What did you study?" He questioned.

"Oh, well….I can't say that I studied a whole lot of anything," I laughed. "I am not the best student in the world, but I got by. I have my degree in Business. And now I work for an investment firm."

"How do you like it?"

"Well, I uh…I kind of hate it," I answered frankly.

"Really? Why work there then?"

I shrugged, "It's a job. I have good benefits and make decent money, so I can't really complain. But I don't like being stuck in an office all day and I just…my job isn't very fulfilling. I'd love to feel like I was making some sort of a difference in someone's life, not just helping the rich become richer. Take you, for example. You'll be saving lives and dedicating your time to help others, that's pretty amazing."

His emerald eyes held mine for a moment before he asked, "Well, what would your dream job be then? If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?"

Something about those vibrant eyes made me feel safe, like I could say or do anything and it would all be okay.

"I don't know. I guess I've never really given myself another option. Maybe I'd be… a coach? Help kids to learn and grow in their athletic abilities and in life. Give them confidence."

He nodded his head in approval, "You might be onto something there."

"Yeah… maybe. But, enough about me. Have you decided on a specialty yet?"

"I think so. I'm actually really interested in oncology."

"Wow…really?" I asked in astonishment, my heart thumping wildly in my chest.

"Yes, I guess I'm following in my father's footsteps after all. Well, he also specializes in family medicine, but that is just too much school for me. I'm sticking with one specialty, at least for now." He paused a beat before asking, "So, I guess you know my father?"

"I, uh… yeah I do." I smiled tentatively and added, "I've been seeing him since I turned thirteen."

He nodded, but didn't ask anything further. He probably thought that Dr. Cullen was just my family practice physician. That was true, but it wasn't the whole truth. I knew if Edward and I were to have any type of relationship that he needed to know about my cancer. But, I couldn't bring myself to tell him. Not yet. That was too heavy a subject for a virtual stranger, even though he felt like so much more than that to me.

I had been so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear what Edward was saying. All I caught was, "…in the office. It's kind of stupid, I know, but I just can't help feeling that way where you are concerned."

Crap. He said something about me and how he feels. And I missed it? I am an idiot. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I totally spaced out." I smiled sheepishly. "Would you mind repeating that?"

He looked down and hesitated for a split second, his cheeks flushing a little as he replied, "Not a problem. It wasn't that important anyhow."

Somehow I didn't believe him, but I had no idea what to say. I felt horrible. "I, uh..."

"You know," Edward made to stand, "it's getting pretty late. I should probably get going."

"Oh, okay." I stood up with him, disappointed that I had screwed this up. I needed to fix it, but how? My mind was racing. He probably thought I wasn't even interested enough to listen to his side of the conversation. That's just great Emmett. Will I ever do anything right where Edward is concerned?

"I had a great time with you tonight, Emmett." He said quietly. His confidence had all but vanished and I couldn't have been angrier with myself for making him feel that way. I had to let him know that I was interested in him, well more like obsessed, but he didn't need to know that.

"Hey, can I get your number Edward? Maybe we could meet up again sometime?"

"Well…," he started uncertainly. My heart stopped beating. This could be it. I might never see him again. "Yeah, I guess that would be okay," he finished detachedly, as though he was no longer interested, but only saying yes to appease me.

I chose to overlook this, stating, "Cool," with a smile and handing him my cell so he could program his number. He didn't reciprocate, but at least I had something.

"Well, good night," he said softly as he headed for the door. His shoulders had drooped a little and I wished belatedly that I had paid better attention. I waved good night as I closed the door. When it clicked shut I leaned against it heavily. What had just happened? That Edward was totally different from the confident, sexy one that I was beginning to fall for.

My mind flashed back to the beginning of the evening when I had been pressed against this same door, but for a very different reason. I knew I messed things up by not listening to him, but could I have upset him that much? Well, there wasn't a great deal I could do about that now. At least I had his number and I definitely intended to use it.

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

The next morning I awoke with a killer headache. I hadn't slept well at all and couldn't stop my mind from replaying last night's events, trying to figure out what went wrong. I was feeling depressed and alone. I would have called Rose, but figured she was probably still with Jasper. I knew she'd call me to exchange details as soon as she was free anyhow.

After taking a couple aspirin, I decided I'd better call my Mom. I had thought a lot about what Dr. Cullen said and realized that she deserved to know what was going on in my life, even if it dredged up the difficult memories of my Dad. At least I had good news to go along with the bad, for this month anyway.

_Ring. Ring. _Maybe she wouldn't answer. Then I could put off this conversation for a while longer. _Ring._ I couldn't leave this message on an answering machine. _Ring. _Well, at least I had tried. _Ring. Ring._ Maybe it would be better this way. Mom didn't need to know. Not really. What good would it do anyhow? _Ring._ She would only be upset, and I am okay for now. If that changes, then I'll let her know right away. _Ring._

"Hello?" she answered, just as I was about to hang up.

Well, here goes nothing…


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Hey, Mom, it's me."

"Emmett, honey, I'm so glad you called. I've missed hearing from you lately. How are you? What's going on in your life? Tell me everything."

"Okay, Mom. Okay," I laughed. My Mom was too much when she got excited. "I'm sorry. I know I should call more often."

"Yes, you should. But, I'm over it now. So, tell me all your news, hon. How are you?"

"Well, Mom…I'm pretty good…" I began tentatively.

"Emmett, what is it? You know I can always hear it in your voice when something is wrong. Now just spill it." There was no fooling her. Mom had always been perceptive. That's why I'd been avoiding her completely.

I breathed audibly before starting in, "You're right Mom. Something is wrong…well, kind of. I don't really know how to start. I wish I could see you in person."

"Emmett, you're scaring me. Do I need to fly out there to see you? Because I'll leave today honey, just say the word."

Crap. I was messing this up already. "No, Mom. I'm fine, really. This is just…hard…and I don't want to upset you."

She spoke gently, "Honey, I love you. No matter what. You know that right?"

"Of course I do Mom."

"Then please tell me. The suspense is killing me. It'll be okay, just let it out."

"Okay Mom, I'll do my best...just remember that I have some good news too, okay?"

She was starting to get impatient, and understandably so, "Okay, Emmett, just tell me already."

"Okay…well…I went to see Dr. Cullen a while ago, but it wasn't for one of my regular yearly appointments."

I could feel her holding her breath as I continued on, "I, uh, felt a lump when I was doing a self exam and went in to have it tested." I could hear Mom's breathing become heavy, but I had to keep going if I was ever going to make it through this.

"Mom, he ran some tests and felt that it needed to be removed. So…"

"Emmett McCarty," she yelled angrily, "Are you telling me that you had surgery and didn't tell me!"

"Momma, I'm sorry. I didn't want to worry you."

"Worry me? Honey, there hasn't been one day in your entire life that I haven't worried about you. Not one day." She paused for a moment and continued in a much softer, almost defeated voice, "Why didn't you tell me Emmett?"

"I'm sorry Mom," I whispered guiltily. "I just…didn't know how."

"Honey, I love you and I want to be there for you. But, I can't if you won't let me in." Her voice broke and I could tell she was crying. I felt awful. I should have told her everything, right from the start.

"I know momma. You're right."

"Of course I am. Your momma's always right." She had composed herself and her voice regained its normal firmness, "Now tell me the rest of the story Emmett."

"Okay, so I had the testicle removed and tested… They found that it was cancerous."

"Oh honey…"

"Mom, let me get this out. Yes, I have…had cancer, but I'm okay now. I went back for some follow up tests and I'm cancer free. So, you don't have to worry about me. I am totally fine."

"Emmett, honey, you can't just be totally fine. I'm going to try to overlook the fact that you had tests and surgery and more tests and didn't bother to tell me until now. It had to have been weeks or months since you suspected this."

"Mom…" I tried to explain.

"No, I don't care about that right now. Believe me. We'll get into that at a later date. Right now we need to focus on getting you better."

"But, didn't you hear me Mom? I am fine. The tests all came back negative."

"Honey, did you forget who you were talking to? I know a lot more about this than the average person. Have you forgotten what we went through with your father?"

"Of course not, Mom," I said exasperated. "Why do you think I didn't tell you?"

"I don't know Emmett. Why didn't you?" I could hear the hurt in her voice and it was killing me.

"I was so scared and I knew it would probably be even worse for you. I was trying to spare you the pain. Especially if it didn't end up being cancer… and now I'm cancer free, so it's okay."

"Emmett, don't be naïve. You know as well as I do, that this isn't the end. You'll be undergoing tests for years, the rest of your life most likely. And there's no guarantee that it won't come back in some other way at another time. You've got to deal with reality honey and you need support. You need to talk about this to work through it. Does anyone else know?"

"Only Rose."

"Well, thank God for that," she ground out sarcastically. My Mom loved Rose, but she was a bit jealous of our close relationship.

"Mom, I'm sorry."

"Emmett, stop apologizing. What's done is done and we need to move forward. When is your next test?"

"Not for almost a month."

"Okay. Well, first off, you _will_ call me immediately when you find out the results. No exceptions. And I want you to either join a support group or see a counselor. Now, don't even say it honey. I know you have a 'but Mom' coming, but I don't want to hear it. You need this. You need to open yourself up to someone besides Rose and you're obviously not comfortable talking to me about this."

"Mom, that's not true."

"Yes, it is, Emmett. And that's okay. It hits too close to home for both of us. I just want you to be talking to someone about this. But I will require updates."

I smiled and said, "Yes, Mom."

"Good boy. Now that's enough of that for now. Just promise me you'll find someone to talk to."

"I promise Mom. Actually, Dr. Cullen had mentioned that to me before as well. Maybe I'll call him and see if he can give me a good recommendation."

"That's great honey. Let me know what you decide."

"I will Mom…and I really am sorry. I didn't mean to leave you out. I just…"

"Emmett honey," she said softly, "I understand. I really do. This is going to be difficult for us both, but I want to be part of your life. All of it. Good, bad, whatever. I've been in this with you since before you were born and I'm not going to stop…ever. Got it?"

"Got it Mom," I agreed.

"Okay, honey. I've got to get going. I am supposed to meet Marsha in an hour. Call me soon?"

"Yeah Mom, I will," I promised. "I love you."

"I love you too Emmett. Talk to you soon."

I hung up feeling thoroughly guilty, yet relieved. It had been good to get this off my chest. I would give Dr. Cullen a call on Monday morning to discuss therapy options. Maybe it would help, it certainly couldn't hurt.

Throwing on my sneakers and a sweatshirt, I decided to go for a run. I had a lot to think about. I needed to start being honest with my Mom and with myself as well. I needed to start really dealing with this demon known as cancer and the real possibility that this was not over yet. I needed to call Rose and fill her in on everything. And I really needed to figure out what happened with Edward.

The latter was weighing on my mind more than all the rest at the moment. If I had permanently messed things up with him, I would never forgive myself. I knew, deep in my soul, that Edward was the one for me. I had to make things right somehow. But I barely knew him and had no idea how to go about fixing things between us. Really, I wasn't even sure what had happened. The night had ended so abruptly, leaving me disheartened and confused.

These thoughts flooded my mind as I jogged through the cool autumn air. Pittsburgh was a beautiful place in the fall, the hills covered with the splendor of changing leaves. It was home and I loved it. Following a path along the river, I watched a barge being pushed through the water as a speedboat darted around it. I was suddenly reminded of the boat races at the Three Rivers Regatta. The annual festival was held over Fourth of July weekend along the North Shore and Point State Park in the city. Every summer, growing up, we would attend as a family. It was something I looked forward to all year long. The people, the boat races, the fireworks! It was so exciting and continues to be one of my favorite childhood memories.

The time I remember most, was when I was ten years old. Dad was in the final stages of his cancer and was becoming extremely weak. We all knew it was only a matter of time before his body would give out completely. But, he insisted that we could not miss the Regatta. Mom had agreed, albeit reluctantly. But the night before the big event, as I was getting into bed, I overheard my parents arguing about it.

"Sean, this is ridiculous." Mom began, her frustration escalating quickly, "You are not going to that Regatta tomorrow. You need to rest to keep up your strength."

I crept over to my door and opened it a crack, leaning my ear against it, as Dad replied evenly, "Yes I am. Emmett needs this, Claire. We all need this."

"I know and I'll take him, if it means that much to you, but you are not going." I was surprised when she said this, because Mom never liked the Regatta and all the noisy crowds of people. She only ever went for our sake. She must have really wanted Dad to stay home.

"Claire…" my Dad started sharply.

"No, Sean. You need to stay home and get well. Being out all day will only make things harder on you."

"Claire, don't you get it? I'm not going to get well. This is it for me. I can either stay home, and drag it all out a little longer, or I can live. I can spend time with my family, with my son. I can be there for him and give him something happy to remember me by." My father was on the verge of full out yelling. He never raised his voice, especially not to my Mom.

"Sean, please…" She responded desperately.

He answered more calmly than before, but still firmly, "Claire. I have to do this. I have made up my mind. Emmett and I are leaving tomorrow at 10am. Be ready to go with us, or not. It's up to you, but I am doing this."

Mom didn't answer, but I could hear her crying and Dad trying to sooth and calm her. As their voices continued on more softly now, I closed my door and lay down on my bed. Staring out my window at the full moon, I cried myself to sleep.

The next morning, Mom woke me up, saying I was going to make us late for the festival if I didn't hurry. Nothing was said about the argument the night before and we all had a wonderful time. I ran around like crazy to all the booths, playing games, getting my face painted, and eating tons of food. I think I had three funnel cakes that day. Dad had to have been exhausted, but he never let on at all. If anything, he was pulling me along from place to place. Making sure nothing was missed, or overlooked. We watched the water ski shows and the dragon boat races, the speed boats and the live music. We went all out, knowing this would be our last time here together, as a family.

In the evening, we laid out on a blanket to watch the sky light up with fireworks. The crowd was cheering and singing along, but our family laid there quietly just soaking up the moment. Dad and Mom held hands and I rested my head on Dad's shoulder, his arm wrapped around me. We were lost in our own world, it was our special moment.

Looking back now, I realized it was the last occasion we ever shared together. Dad had taken a turn for the worse about a week later. He held on until November, but wasn't able to leave the house or do much of anything. That weekend had been my last happy memory with Dad. Well, more like bittersweet. Actually, I hadn't been back to the Regatta since Dad passed. It was just too hard to consider going there without him.

My eyes began to water, as I continued running. I had to stop this train of thought. It was too depressing. Clearing my mind, I turned to head back home, choosing to focus only on the magnificent scenery and the path in front of me.

...

**AN: Thanks for reading! Things will get better for Emmett, but it may take some time. And don't worry - Edward will be back in the picture soon. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: I was planning to save part of this for the next chapter, but decided to add a little more. Hope you like it!**

…

**Chapter 11**

…

I was so nervous, my hands were shaking. This wasn't like me. I was an easy going kind of guy and normally, it took a lot to rattle me. Of course, my life was anything but normal at the moment. I had been dealing with the stress pretty well, considering. But when it came to this man, I lost my cool completely. And now I'm not sure where I stand with him or if he even wants to hear from me.

I ran through the conversation in my head several times. The imagined future conversation of what I would say to Edward and how he might respond. The possibilities were endless and I was driving myself crazy in anticipation. I had no idea how he would feel about me calling him. But, if I wanted Edward, and I certainly did, then I needed to try and win him over. I needed to show him that I could be a sensitive and caring listener, a friend, a boyfriend, a lover. Hopefully he would give me a chance to become at least one, if not all of those things for him.

I had made a difficult call only yesterday, to Dr. Cullen. I tried to ignore the fact that he was Edward's father, reminding myself that he had been my doc for a lot longer. So, I did my best to continue business as usual. He talked to me briefly and recommended at least one meeting with a private therapist as well as a group session that met monthly.

My life was changing fast, but I had finally resigned myself to this. I just needed a little help. My individual appointment was set for a week from Wednesday and the group would be meeting the Tuesday evening after that. I had already called my Mom and informed her of this. She was happy that I had taken her advice and kept my promise to keep her updated.

Rose had been great, as always, and listened to all of my angst ridden worries with grace and patience. She dropped by Sunday evening, a couple hours after I had finished my confessional phone call to Mom. My best friend listened attentively and let me get everything out.

Rose couldn't understand Edward's abrupt departure any more than I could and chalked it up to nerves or something. She said if I felt this strongly, I should definitely go for it and follow my heart.

As the evening continued, I realized I had gone on and on about myself without even thinking of what had been going on with Rose. I felt like a self-absorbed jerk. She understood, though, and didn't hold it against me at all. She was my supporter right now, but I had been that for her through the years as well. We flipped roles a lot and never worried about things being even. We loved each other unconditionally and never failed to be there for one another.

When I finally did ask her about Jasper, Rosie's face lit up in a way I'd never seen before. As she described him to me, and I watched the pure joy in her face, I knew that this was serious. She gushed about how sweet he was, truly a southern gentleman underneath the tough guy exterior.

Rose was so open and unabashed about her life. She told me every detail about her evening with Jasper, including plenty of things that I really didn't want to know. But she was my Rose, so I decided to suck it up and listen as she'd done for me. To summarize, they had spent the night together and he'd even cooked for her the next morning. They had plans to meet up again this weekend and she was thrilled.

It sounded like they were perfect for each other. She was surprised at how fast she was falling for him and, frankly, so was I. As open as Rose was with me, she had a very hard time letting others really see her. She always put up this front to protect herself. But somehow, in one night's time, Jasper had managed to break down her walls. I couldn't have been happier for her. She'd had some very difficult times with her relationships in the past and I sincerely hoped this time would be different.

If things went well, I would soon be meeting him more officially. That was a good thing because I wanted to check him out a little more. I was definitely the overprotective big brother where Rose was concerned, and I had to make sure Jasper was a worthy suitor. And although she would protest, I knew Rose loved that I looked out for her.

I thought of all these things as I paced back and forth in my living room staring at my phone where it lay on the coffee table. I couldn't put this off anymore. Actually, I could, but I didn't want to. Waiting wouldn't make it any easier. I just needed to go for it and Edward would either agree to see me or not. I couldn't control his response, only my own actions.

I breathed deep and gave myself a mental pep talk while I scrolled to Edward's number and hit the green call button. I wasn't sure which would be better, getting his voicemail or catching him in person. I couldn't decide which to hope for and gave up, choosing to concentrate on keeping my breathing calm and steady.

After five rings, it went to voicemail. I was a bit disappointed, but maybe it would be easier this way. My heart lurched as soon as I heard his voice. "Hello," his message began in that smooth velvety tone, "You have reached Edward Cullen. I am unable to answer your call, so please leave me a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible." It was simple and to the point and I was fantasizing about him as the beep sounded, leaving me momentarily scrambling to remember what I had called to say.

After a slight pause I started to speak, "Uh, hey Edward. This is Emmett calling… Emmett McCarty. I was just wondering if you would like to get together sometime. Maybe get a cup of coffee or something? We didn't get to talk much the other night and I'd like to get to know you a little better. I, uh…well just give me a call back when you have a chance and let me know if you would be interested. Thanks Edward. I hope to hear from you soon. Okay, uh, bye."

I hung up shaking my head. I was sure I had sounded ridiculous and stupid. Leaving messages was never easy, particularly in a situation like this. Well, I had done it and now it was up to Edward whether or not he wanted to see me again.

In the meantime, I needed to find something to occupy myself with or I would go crazy waiting for him to call me back. I looked around my place trying to find something that would keep my mind off of this. I caught up on some emails and read the sports section of the paper. But, it didn't really do the trick.

I was jittery with apprehensive excitement and needed to move around and get all this nervous energy out. So, I opted to go for a run. About halfway through my normal route, I was panting and sweaty and out of breath. This was unusual for me as I was in good shape. But I had pushed myself really hard, trying to let out my anxiety and fear through the motion of my feet pounding into the pavement.

As tired as I was, I didn't let up, pushing myself even harder as I continued. By the time I got back to my apartment I was exhausted from the physical strain as well as the emotional stress. But it had taken the edge off a little. I grabbed a quick shower and then headed straight for bed, too tired to dwell on thoughts of…well anything or anyone.

…

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

…

Three days passed with no word from Edward. I hadn't expected him to call immediately, but was beginning to doubt that he would return my call at all.

It was now Friday and the night of Rose's date with Jasper. She had insisted on coming over to show me her outfit for the evening and get my "approval."

I saw right through her.

As if that woman would ever relinquish control of her wardrobe, and to me, no less. Rose had a wonderful fashion sense, even back when I had first met her fourteen years ago. I rolled my eyes at her pitiful attempt to distract me. But I knew she was worried about me. And, if I was being honest, I was glad to have the company for a bit.

She had decided upon a black halter dress that was very low cut in both the front and back, but still managed to remain tastefully seductive. Jasper wouldn't know what hit him. After assuring her that she was the most gorgeous woman I'd ever seen, I wished her well and sent her on her way.

Now that I was alone and contemplating what I should do for the evening, I realized how distracting her visit had been. It was kind of pathetic, but I hadn't hung out with anyone other than Rose in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty of other friends, but I always gravitated to my Rosie first. Especially in the last few months, as I was dealing with all this cancer stuff.

But now Rose had Jasper, and that was great for her. I needed to move on with my own life too. I had just been hoping to move on with Edward. I sighed and thought of who else I might want to hang out with for the evening.

I finally decided to call Mike. I hadn't been in touch with him in a while and it would be good to catch up. He and I ran track together in college and continued to meet up occasionally. He was a good buddy. Chances were he'd already have plans for the night, but it couldn't hurt to try.

After a quick phone call I found out that Mike was, surprisingly, free and we agreed to meet at Quaker Steak for some wings. The food was awesome and the company, while not exactly great, did take my mind off of things for awhile. Now I remembered why I hadn't hung out with Mike lately. He always talked a lot and totally monopolized the conversation. But, for tonight, I was glad to be focusing on someone else.

It was refreshing to hear Mike's ordinary ramblings. He spoke of everything from his job and worries about the economy to stories about the girl he picked up last weekend. He knew I was gay, but that didn't stop him from bragging and giving me all the dirty details. I was glad that he felt so comfortable around me, but this was one of those times I wished he wouldn't be so open and uninhibited.

All in all it was a good time. Mike was funny and friendly, but not someone who I would call on in a time of need. We were definitely casual friends, and that was fine. It was exactly what I needed right now. No pressure, no questions. Just pure meaningless conversation and some guy time.

Mike did his job and sufficiently distracted me for a few hours. But, upon returning home, I was assaulted with a fresh wave of loneliness.

Sleep did not come easily and I tossed and turned all night. My dreams were haunted with visions of emerald eyes, full sensuous lips, and wild bronze hair. I tried to touch him and bring him closer, but he was always just out of reach. Edward slipped out of my grasp time and time again until he vanished completely, leaving me heartbroken and alone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

…

It was now Sunday, the fifth day since I had left a message for Edward and a week since I had seen him. I was losing hope and trying to gauge how desperate it would look if I tried calling him again. I was determined to keep myself busy and not to dwell on it.

If this was meant to be, then surely things would work out, right?

I hoped so.

I decided to go for a run and changed into jogging pants, a Pitt hoodie and sneakers. Grabbing my iPod, I headed out the door.

As I jogged towards the park I scrolled through my playlists and chose some high intensity rock. I needed to channel some of my energy and the music along with the running would do that for me.

Motion and speed. This was exactly what I needed. In the past week I'd done more running than I had in months. With my tests and surgery and all, I had gotten out of the habit and really missed it.

Physical movement had always been a release for me. While I was in school, I ran long distance track and swam the 500 freestyle. These events required speed and endurance, which I worked hard to possess. My priority was not to win, although I often did and proudly so, but to better myself. I constantly strove to break my own records and be the best I could be. I pushed myself, maybe too much. I guess I felt that if I could just run or swim fast enough, maybe I could escape my problems. It never really worked that way, but it did allow me to clear my head and was a great outlet for my negative energy.

I needed that stress relief under normal circumstances and even more so now. I resolved to spend more time working out my stresses. And it didn't hurt that it would keep me in shape too.

The cool October air rushed in and out of my lungs as I traveled along the familiar path. The trees were turning to beautiful hues of auburn, goldenrod, and bright orange. And although it was a beautiful afternoon, I was basically alone as I ran. That suited me just fine and allowed me to become lost in my thoughts.

Returning to my apartment complex, I used the front stairs and wall to help me stretch and cool down. Once inside, I shed my clothes dropping them directly into the hamper on my way to the shower. I took my time letting the water massage and sooth my aching muscles. After washing thoroughly with my favorite Adidas body wash, I wrapped a towel around my waist and headed into the bedroom. I threw on some loose shorts, not bothering with underwear, and an old t-shirt. It was getting late and I didn't plan on any company for the rest of the evening. I grabbed a Gatorade and plopped down on the couch to watch the news for a bit.

I was dozing off as my phone buzzed on the wooden table, effectively jerking me awake. I checked the caller ID, before answering, and my mouth fell open in shock. My heart began to race, but I didn't have time to calm myself down. There was no way I was going to miss this call.

I answered breathlessly, "Hello?"

"Um…hello, Emmett?"

Oh, how I had missed that voice. But I played it cool, answering simply, "Yes."

"Hi, um, this is Edward calling. Is this a bad time?" He sounded kind of nervous and unsure of himself and I couldn't have that.

I replied encouragingly, "No, not at all. I'm glad you called actually."

"Yeah?" He asked, seeming to need the reassurance.

"Yeah."

"Good. I am sorry that I didn't get back to you sooner. But, I'd like to meet up sometime if the offer still stands?"

"Yeah, that sounds great!" My cheek muscles were straining with the force of my smile. "Just tell me when and where and I'll be there." So much for playing it cool, but I didn't really care.

"Oh, okay. Um…I am free most evenings. How about Tuesday evening at seven for coffee?"

"That should work for me. Do you know _Café Olé_? It's not too far from me and they make a great macchiato."

"I haven't been, but I know it. So, _Café Olé_ at seven o'clock on Tuesday?"

"Sounds great. I'll see you then…and thanks for calling me back Edward," I said sincerely.

"You're welcome. See you Tuesday Emmett."

"Okay, goodbye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and stretched my arms to the sky with a smile. Yes! A date with Edward! I would not screw things up this time. I was so excited. Tuesday suddenly seemed very far away.

…

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

…

I had never been this nervous for a date before. Literally. Never before. And this was an extremely casual date. But it was with Edward and that made all the difference. I decided to walk over to _Café Olé._ It wasn't too far from my apartment and the trek would help to calm my nerves. Plus, I could always take a cab back later if need be.

Rose had reacted quite enthusiastically to my news, screeching into my ear so loudly that I thought I might need to invest in a hearing aid. She was already planning for a double date. However, I warned her not to get ahead of herself and to wait it out. I didn't want to jinx anything, but secretly I couldn't wait to be able to do just that.

I dressed for comfort as much as style in nice jeans and a navy blue Henley. Throwing on a steel gray scarf, to complete the look and keep off the chill, I headed out the door. I walked at a medium pace which would ensure that I made it to the shop neither early nor late, but right on time.

As I entered and was inundated with the delicious smell, I glanced around the nearly empty café. Only a few tables were taken and Edward was nowhere in sight. I decided to go ahead and order something while I waited for him to arrive.

The barista flirted with me a bit as I ordered my standard macchiato. I'd seen him here many times and he never seemed to take the hint that I wasn't interested. That or he was just really persistent. Politely rejecting his advances, I took my mug and headed to my favorite corner booth that afforded a great view of the evening sky.

Ten minutes passed.

Then fifteen more.

The café began to get more crowded and my head turned toward the door automatically each time it opened. I was becoming worried that I might be stood up.

I tried to ignore that thought and focus on some other rational possibilities for his tardiness. Maybe he was held up at school or work. Maybe he was stuck in traffic. But, inevitably, other thoughts crept in as well. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he wouldn't show at all.

I finally conceded when thirty minutes had passed with no signs of Edward. At least he could have called or something. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I'd tried and failed. But, I'd put myself out there and wouldn't go on wondering, if only. That was something, I guess.

As I made my way to the door, I received a text. From Edward. My thoughts ran the gamut from anger to worry to hope as I hit the button to open the message. It read:

_**Emmett, I am so sorry. Are you still at the café? I would still like to meet up, if you haven't changed your mind. Again, I'm so sorry. I can be there in 5 if you are interested?**_

I had to think for a minute.

Of course I was interested in Edward. But I wasn't sure about this anymore. Things already seemed so difficult. Was he really worth all this trouble?

I thought of his crooked smile, those piercing green eyes, that hot body, the way I felt dancing with him and kissing him. Yes, he was worth it.

I sent my reply:

_**I'd given up on you, but yes I'm still here. I'll stay. Don't keep me waiting ;) **_

…

…

**AN: I know this was a bit short, but I promise not to keep you waiting either. The next chapter will be a lot longer and will pick up right where this one leaves off. You will be rewarded for your patience ;) Thanks for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: As promised this is an extra long chapter! I almost flaked on that promise because this was a very difficult chapter for me to write. But, that's mostly because I am tough on myself and can't seem to stop editing. Hopefully it turned out alright.**

**Also, I will not be updating for a couple of weeks because I am traveling across the country for the birth of my godson. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback. Thanks for sticking with me and enjoy! :)**

…

**Chapter 13**

…

Four painfully slow minutes later, Edward walked in.

I immediately forgave him.

He was beautiful as ever, but his appearance was disheveled in a way that told me he had been through something rough. I could see the weariness in his face and the remorse and apology in his eyes as he stalked towards me with a very small smile. His normally unruly hair was crazier than usual, as if he'd been running his hands through it nonstop. I was eager to know what had happened and caused him to be so late.

"Emmett," he began simply.

"Hey, Edward," I spoke casually wanting to ease his discomfort. "I am glad you made it. I was beginning to think I'd have to settle for that guy." I discreetly gestured to the barista who had continued flirting with me since my arrival. He was absolutely not my type, a skinny little emo wannabe who looked to be just out of high school.

Edward snorted out a small laugh before turning serious again, "Yeah, I am really sorry about that. I should have called you earlier, I just…" He trailed off regretfully.

I was hoping for some sort of explanation but none came. Instead, he ran his hand roughly through his hair and sighed as he plopped down across from me.

The tension was rolling off him. Something was definitely up. I decided to just ask, "Is everything okay Edward?"

"Yeah, I guess… Honestly, I don't know," he answered.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I offered.

"Not really."

Well, that was helpful.

He continued to sit there looking sad and lost. I didn't know what to do.

We sat in silence for a few torturous minutes before I stood up and grabbed Edward's hand saying, "Come on, let's get out of here."

He followed me obediently, having had no coffee, and with no idea where we were heading. At first I wasn't sure either, but I knew I had to do something to make him feel better. Edward's happiness was somehow linked to my own and I wanted to put that beautiful smile back on his face.

We walked down the familiar streets, ones that I knew like the back of my hand, and I decided on a destination. Within a few minutes, we were standing across the street from a fountain. But not just any fountain, the kind that shoots streams of water up at random from the sidewalk. The kind kids run through and play in on hot summer days.

Yeah, I was going there. I hoped it would make him laugh and not upset him more.

I had stopped in my tracks and he looked sideways at me, probably thinking I had lost my mind.

"Now what?" He asked confusedly.

A playful smile slowly spread across my face as I answered, "Come on, I want to show you something."

I continued to hold his hand as I ran across the well lit road, forcing him to run with me, and also enjoying the feel of his hand in mine.

As we neared the fountain, I felt him hesitate, but charged ahead before he could stop me. I guided him through the spurting streams of water, following the pattern of the blasts, and keeping us dry. He began to chuckle as we moved around, hopping from one dry spot to the next. We had some near misses, but stayed relatively dry.

Then, without warning, all of the grates erupted at once, shocking us both. We looked at each other in surprise and then busted up laughing. We began jumping towards the sprays of water and pushing each other into them.

Bringing him here may not have been the appropriate thing to do, but he wasn't complaining and I was thrilled to have put a smile on his face.

After we had both become a wet and laughing mess, I suggested he come back to my place to dry off and borrow some clothes. He agreed and we quickly walked back to my apartment. It wasn't far, but it was freezing.

I hadn't quite thought my idea through, but it seemed to have done the trick. I still had no idea what had happened with Edward, but I was glad that I was able to ease his distress, even if only a little bit.

…

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

…

With Edward waiting in the living room, I rummaged through my drawers and found some clothes that I thought might fit his slightly smaller frame. I then showed him to the bathroom, so he could change, and went back to find some dry clothes for myself.

As I did so, I couldn't help the thought of him naked. Here in my apartment. So worth it.

Then again, I couldn't think about it too much or I'd have a big problem on my hands, one that was already growing bigger by the second in spite of how freezing cold I was.

"Emmett," he called out. "Would you mind if I take a quick shower to warm up a little?"

"No, of course not," I called back, dressing quickly and grabbing him an extra towel from the hall closet.

Yet another fantasy to store in my brain for later. A wet, naked Edward in my shower. Yummy!

While Edward showered, I decided to put on a pot of coffee. He hadn't gotten any at the café and I thought we could both use something to help warm us up. I had just finished pouring our mugs, when Edward came out looking just…

Wow.

His gorgeous locks were still damp and sticking up everywhere and he looked great in my clothes. The light gray t-shirt I had chosen was clinging to his still damp body, not leaving much to the imagination. And the jeans were slightly large for him, causing them to hang agonizingly low on his hips.

I bit my lip, repressing a moan, and held out his coffee to him.

After offering his thanks, he joined me at the counter. We sat on the bar stools and sipped our coffee, in silence. Edward seemed completely lost is his thoughts. The tension he had emitted earlier seemed to have returned. I kept quiet, not wanting to pry and not knowing what to say.

"So, listen. I, um…" Edward began hesitantly.

I was hoping he might finally shed some light for me, but he sat his mug down and stood up, "I'll just get out of your hair. You probably have things to do. Thanks for the coffee and for letting me use your shower."

I watched helplessly as he headed toward the door. Again. This was not how the evening was supposed to go and I couldn't let him get away from me. Not again. Not without a fight.

"Edward, wait." I said, probably a little too forcefully.

He stopped and turned.

I softened my voice and continued, "Please don't go yet. I want you to stay. You don't have to explain about… anything. Just, don't leave." I'm sure I sounded really desperate at this point, but if it got him to stay, then I really didn't care.

He stared at me for a moment and then walked over and sat on my couch, dropping his head into his hands. He mumbled into them, "I'm so sorry Emmett. I'm being a complete jerk. Forgive me, please."

I walked over and situated myself next to him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me briefly before averting his eyes and murmuring, "I don't know how to do this."

"What do you mean?"

"This," he gestured between us, "dating, relationships, all of it. I was really surprised when you called me about meeting up again. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like you. I really like you and that scares me. In fact, I was so freaked out I almost didn't come tonight… That's one of the reasons I was so late, and I am really sorry about that. But I realized that if I didn't show up, I would regret it for the rest of my life."

He paused, but continued on before I could reply, "You are special Emmett. I could tell that from the moment I met you. And I… I am not good. You would be much better off with someone else. Someone who knows what they're doing and can treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

I couldn't respond immediately as I was a bit stunned by his speech. I don't know what I'd been expecting him to say, but it surely wasn't that.

I answered slowly, choosing my words carefully. "Well, Edward, I like you too and I would like the chance to get to know you, if you'll let me. I am willing to take things slow if that's what you need. But, it does help to know what you're thinking. Maybe you can tell me next time instead of running? This won't work unless we communicate with each other, even if it's uncomfortable. And as for what I deserve, why don't you let me be the judge of that."

He looked at me thoughtfully before replying, "Okay. Yeah, that sounds fair."

"Good," I agreed.

He visibly relaxed, seeming to regain a little more of his confident composure.

"Thanks for being so understanding," he added sincerely.

"Edward, it's okay… really. Relax. I just want to spend some time with you."

He slowly turned toward me and looked directly into my eyes as if testing my sincerity. I don't know what he saw in them, but eventually a small crooked smile appeared on his face. The intensity of his stare disarmed me and I was unprepared as he flung his body forward and kissed me full on. His arms wrapped around my torso tightly and we kissed frantically, out of sheer need.

In the back of my mind I knew I should stop this. Only moments ago, I had promised that we could take things slowly. He probably wasn't ready for this and I didn't want to take advantage of his vulnerability. But as he continued to ravage my mouth, my inner conscience was fighting a losing battle with my hormones. I wanted, no needed him too badly.

Our mouths continued to move together as I slipped my hands up underneath his shirt, resting them on the small of his back. His skin was smooth and warm, still a bit damp from the shower. He shivered a little at my touch and released me long enough to pull his shirt off, before resuming his claim on my mouth.

That was a surprise, but I certainly wasn't going to protest.

My hands greedily roamed over his back, reveling in the feel of his bare skin. It felt amazing, but he hadn't given me enough time to look at his chest. I tried slowing us down a little as I moved my lips to his jaw and began placing open mouthed kisses there, along his neck, and behind his ear. Then I took his earlobe into my mouth and sucked, before gently biting it. His answering moan was loud and full of pure want and desire. It stirred something primal in me, from deep within, and I knew that I could never deny this man anything.

I pulled back to look in his brilliant green eyes as a huge smile overtook my face. My own eyes finally had the chance to wander over his exposed chest. He was more fit than he appeared and although he wasn't overly muscular, his chest was well-defined and he had nice tight abs.

I couldn't help reaching out to touch him and feel his muscles clench and release under my fingertips. I looked back into his eyes and saw that he was watching me intently with a look of awe on his face that soon turned unto the confident smirk I had missed lately. There were so many sides and mysteries to this man. I didn't quite understand him, but I didn't think I could ever get tired of learning him.

He reached forward to trace his thumb over my lips as he whispered reverently, "You're perfect."

I grabbed his waist in answer and pushed him onto his back. Straddling his hips, I bent down to capture his mouth in mine, reciprocating the sentiment with my lips. He reached up and tugged on my shirt as he whispered, "Off please."

It was my turn to smirk as I saw his eyes roving hungrily over my naked chest. I wasn't cocky about it, but I knew I looked good. I had worked my body hard for years and it showed. He ran his hands over every inch of my torso before hooking one hand behind my neck and pulling me back down to him as he muttered, "Freaking perfect," before kissing me hard.

Eventually I shifted my body so that I was lying parallel over top of him and began to gently rock my hips. He groaned and began thrusting up to meet me.

I spoke, my voice sounding gravelly with desire even to me, "I want you so bad, Edward."

He threw his head back and moaned, emboldening me further. "Mmm, Edward, you are so beautiful. I want to taste you."

I thrust against him pointedly as I spoke, letting my body say as much as my words in the moment. He panted heavily as he threw his head back again and closed his eyes.

"How does that sound?" I continued driving our hips together, "Hmm?"

"Yes, Emmett," he answered breathily, "please."

I extracted myself from him and pulled him with me to my bedroom, grateful that it was clean. Not that he seemed to care right now, but it still made me feel better. We fell ungracefully onto my bed, limbs tangled around one another, as we continued to make out.

I found myself on my back this time as Edward leaned over me and sucked on my Adam's apple, eliciting a loud groan from me. He continued to lick and suck along my neck and collarbone, causing my body to react in ways it never had before. I was so turned on, I could have come from that alone. I think he sensed this and backed off, standing to slowly shed his remaining clothes.

I sat up to watch as he removed the pants I had lent him, leaving him in a pair of my back boxer briefs.

I couldn't help it as I whispered, "So sexy," mostly to myself.

He certainly heard me though and smirked as he began to finger the waistband of said briefs. My eyes were drawn in to the trail of bronze hair leading down to the place I was longing to see, touch, and taste. I licked my bottom lip before biting it and holding it between my teeth in anticipation. Finally he bent and began to lower the briefs, revealing himself to me completely.

I couldn't do anything but stare for a few moments at the perfection that was Edward. He was better than any fantasy I could have imagined. Remembering that he was real and here in front of me, I moved to the edge of the bed and reached for him. He stepped towards me and I looked into his eyes and smiled before putting my hands on his hips and pulling him closer. I took one hand and ran it across his abdomen, following his happy trail, but stopping just short of where I knew he wanted me.

I leaned forward and began to kiss along his stomach and down the joints where his legs met his hips and pelvis, that delicious v shape. He was shaking in anticipation and moaning, his breath coming out in gasps. I continued to tease him until he whispered, "Emmett please." I couldn't deny him any longer.

I slowly stroked my fingers up his hardened length, from base to tip. He was firm yet smooth and felt so good in my hand. I continued this motion a few times, twisting around his glistening peak randomly, driving him crazy. He said as much, "Ugh, Emmett…so good. I need more."

I brought my face forward and replaced my hand with my tongue, following the same pattern. I heard his breath catch and looked up, without breaking the movement, to see his eyes drop closed. I kept my eyes trained on his face as I opened my mouth to enclose his sensitive tip, swiping my tongue back and forth a few times. His legs were shaking and I gripped his waist to help steady him.

I continued to pleasure him, rotating between tonguing him and stroking him with my hand. He, in turn, massaged my scalp with his fingers and tightened his grip whenever I found a particularly pleasurable spot.

After awhile I changed my strategy, working him towards his climax in earnest. I gripped the base of his shaft, pumping my hand swiftly, as I moved my mouth over his head repeatedly. I kept my lips tight over his sticky flesh, enclosing him, sucking hard, and then releasing him completely each time.

He seemed to be enjoying it, becoming increasingly vocal and shifting his hips in time with my movements. It wasn't long before he cried out, "Oh, Emmett. It's too…I'm coming Emmett."

Within seconds, I felt his warm release on my tongue. I continued to stroke him, slowly drawing out his pleasure until he collapsed into my arms, completely spent. He laid his forehead against mine, as he caught his breath, before thanking me with a deep kiss. Pulling back, he gave me a saucy grin and said, "Your turn." He grabbed my hands and pulled me into a standing position.

Slowly, he ran his hands over my arms and chest, kissing everywhere his fingers touched. He reached down and began to unbutton my jeans.

Suddenly, my mind caught up with my body and I realized what was about to happen. I was going to be completely bared in front of Edward.

Normally this would not be cause for concern. I was certainly not ashamed of my body. But things were different now. I was not the same man I had been. A part of me was missing and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. More importantly, at the moment, I didn't know what Edward's reaction would be.

I began to panic. I probably should have talked to him about this before. What will he think? Will he even notice? Will he care? Some guys only had one testicle, I guess, but it probably wasn't that common. I really didn't want to stop and explain my situation to him. What a mood killer that would be. But would he ask? Would I ask if I was going down on someone else? I thought about it and firmly decided that no, I wouldn't ask. Only if we became more serious, then I might ask. I didn't think he would ask and decided to shut off my brain and just enjoy the sensations I was feeling.

Edward continued to kiss and suck on my neck and shoulders, effectively throwing the earlier concerns out of my mind. I then realized that my pants had pooled around my ankles and I carefully stepped out of them. The entire time, Edward had never let his mouth and hands leave my skin. After a hot kiss on my collarbone that made my nerves tingle, he pulled back to look at me. I watched as his eyes descended my body, lingering on my Calvin's and the large bulge residing underneath. He knelt down before me and pulled my boxer briefs down as he went. My throbbing shaft sprung away from my body nearly smacking him in the face. His eyes grew larger as he took me in. Yeah, I was pretty big, or so I'd been told. Not that Edward was small by any means, but I was both longer and wider than he.

"So perfect," he murmured.

He slowly ran his hands up the backs of my legs, from my ankles up to the small of my back. He fingered the dimples there before grabbing and squeezing my backside and pulling me forward to his waiting mouth. All thought escaped me as I gave myself over to the sensations he created within me.

Surrounded by his hot mouth, I watched his head bob up and down as his tongue expertly stroked me. It was sensory overload and it only took a few minutes before I had to pull him away.

He looked at me questioningly and I tried to catch my breath to explain, "It's too good Edward. I can't hold out if you keep that up."

"Then don't," he responded huskily. "Just let go Emmett. I want to watch you come undone."

He didn't give me a chance to think it over or respond before his mouth was on me, once again enveloping me in his moist heat. I ran my hands through that wild hair of his, pulling gently and twisting it between my fingers. Something I'd longed to do since I first saw him.

I am proud to say that I lasted a few minutes longer, but not much more than that. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to come in his mouth, so I tugged on his hair in warning as I spoke, "Edward, I'm going to come, beautiful."

He responded by picking up the pace a little. I had been watching intently, but as his head bobbed faster my eyes rolled back as my pleasure rose to a climax. He reached one hand up to lightly tug on my tightening sac and I lost it completely. I rode the high for a little while before coming back to earth and collapsing onto the bed. I reached my hand out for him to join me and whispered my thanks as I showered him with kisses.

Our bodies curled around each other as we continued to kiss languidly. I could tell that this was as far as we were going to get tonight, and that was okay with me. I didn't want him to leave, though. At the risk of sounding needy, I decided to ask him to stay. It was rather late, after all.

He agreed and snuggled close to lean his head on my chest. I kissed the top of his head and he wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me close. We said goodnight and fell quickly into a peaceful slumber.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Hello, dear readers. I am sorry about the long delay in getting this chapter out. I've got a lot going on in my own life and this had to take a back seat for awhile. **

**Here is the next installment. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think!**

…

**Chapter 14**

…

I awoke early, my limbs curled around the body of my beautiful man.

He was still asleep and I welcomed the chance to study his features without restraint. His back was to me and I took in his smooth skin, the strength of his shoulders, the narrow curve of his hip, and the way his body rose and fell steadily with each breath. His hair was in disarray, as usual. But I smiled knowing that, this time, I had helped to cause the chaos.

I carefully leaned on my elbow to peer over him, trying not to disturb his sleep. His face was flawlessly peaceful with no signs of stress or tension to be found. His lips were even curled slightly, into a small smile. He seemed content and he was breathtaking. I could only hope that he'd moved beyond some of his insecurities, and that the peacefulness would remain after he awoke.

Last night had been quite a roller coaster of emotions for both of us, but I couldn't have been more satisfied with the outcome. Edward was in my arms, and although I was no closer to understanding him, I wouldn't have traded this moment for anything.

He began to stir, and I took the opportunity to get up and relieve myself. Plus, I figured it would be better if I was not there when he woke up. I didn't want things to be awkward for him.

I wondered how he would feel about last night in retrospect. Would he regret it? Would he feel like I took advantage of his vulnerability? Would he run away again?

Pushing those thoughts away, I tried to relax and just enjoy this time with him, however long it might last.

After my morning hygiene routine was complete, I drifted into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. It was going to be a busy day for me. I had an important meeting with a client today and my first therapy appointment was directly after work.

I had almost forgotten about the latter, with all that went on yesterday, but this was a pretty big deal for me. Dr. Cullen had recommended that I meet with Dr. Webber, a colleague of his, who he claimed was one of the best. I had no reason to doubt him, but I was still a bit skeptical about the whole thing.

I heard the water running in the bathroom, which shifted my thoughts seamlessly away from therapy. My stomach fluttered a little in anticipation of seeing Edward, awake that is. I hoped he would feel comfortable and that things would not be awkward between us.

He strolled out, wearing my jeans again and a shy smile on his face. "Good morning," he uttered softly.

My anxiety vanished instantly. I could get used to hearing that sweet voice every morning. I answered brightly, "Good morning, Edward. Would you like some coffee?"

"That sounds great."

…

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

…

The day had passed quickly and I was now on my way to Dr. Webber's office. My nerves were escalating, but I was trying my best to keep them in check. I really had no reason to be nervous. But, I couldn't help feeling a little uneasy about the idea of bearing my soul to some stranger and having them pick me apart.

Still, I had promised to try and had only committed to one therapy appointment. So, if things went horribly, I'd never have to go back again.

My anxious hands gripped the wheel, as I drove. I really wanted to get this over with. Needing to distract myself, I turned my thoughts to Edward.

I had fully expected things to be weird between us this morning, but that wasn't the case at all.

We relaxed on the couch with our steaming mugs of coffee and chatted casually, as if this was what we did every day. If only that could be true.

We shared about our plans and schedules for the upcoming week, learning a bit more about one another. His passion for his studies was evident and I really respected and admired his dedication.

I told him about my newest client at the firm and the meeting today that would hopefully clinch the account. The conversation flowed easily, but all too soon we both needed to move on and get ready for our respective days.

I didn't have the guts to tell him about the therapy thing just yet. I didn't want to scare him away and explaining the appointment would lead to explaining why I needed it in the first place. And I really wasn't ready to go there yet. But, if things continued to move forward with us, then I would tell him soon.

I stood and walked Edward to the door, asking if I could see him again sometime. His reply was careful but encouraging, "Sure, Emmett, that would be nice." I smiled broadly and decided to take the initiative, pulling him in for a slow, lingering kiss before letting him go on his way.

My lips were tingling, even now, as I remembered the way his mouth felt against mine. I didn't dare think of the other things that amazing mouth could do, because I was pulling into the lot and the last thing I needed was to walk into my appointment with a raging hard on. What a wonderful first impression that would be.

I parked my Jeep and rushed into the building. Traffic had made the drive longer than expected and I didn't want to be late. That would probably mean something bad and I wanted to give a good impression - that I was not crazy and that I was a hard working, normal, on time kind of guy. I was probably over thinking this, but it couldn't be helped.

Exiting the elevator, I hurried down the hall to the correct office. As I entered and glanced around, I saw that there was only one other man in the waiting room. My eyes widened as I took in his appearance. He was dressed from head to toe in muddy brown clothes. Literally. Everything he wore was caked with dried mud. He was turned away from me and whispering to the empty chair beside him.

I took a deep breath and forced myself to remain calm. At least I wasn't that bad off. My odds of making a good first impression just went up considerably.

I walked quietly to the other side of the small room and sat, avoiding the gaze of the mud man.

Luckily, I was rescued a few moments later. My savior was a pretty young woman, not much older than me, who came out of the office and called my name. As I approached her, I noticed that her name tag read Dr. Webber. I hadn't expected this. I guess I was picturing some old professor type with a mustache or something. Not very open-minded of me, I know, but I really didn't have much to go on. I'd had no prior experience with this type of thing.

She insisted that I call her Angela and was very non-threatening and easy to talk to. I found myself telling her things I had never said aloud before. She just listened, asked for clarification here and there, and generally let me talk it out. It was really cathartic for me and I wished I would have done something like this years ago.

I didn't realize how much baggage I was still holding onto regarding my Dad's battle with cancer and subsequent death. And that had only been amplified by my own cancer diagnosis.

Angela and I discussed my surgery and how it made me feel. Before today, I had thought of it purely in terms of the cancer aspect. But, I was learning that it had affected me on another level as well. My masculinity had been threatened, at least in my own mind, and I hadn't dealt with that at all.

Our session didn't suddenly eliminate these feelings and insecurities. It was going to be a process of healing, but I already felt like some of the weight had lifted from me. Acknowledging my fears was the first step to overcoming them.

I told her a little about Edward, no specifics, but just that I'd recently been with a new partner and had worried about his reaction. I had sort of forgotten in the heat of the moment, but my missing testicle hadn't seemed to bother him.

Angela suggested that it would be a good idea to talk this out with Edward sooner rather than later. I knew she was right, but I couldn't help being extremely nervous about the prospect of sharing this information with him. Plus, he was the son of my oncologist and that brought on a whole other set of anxieties and complications.

She agreed that it would not be easy and that I should do it in my own time, but also reminded me that it would probably get harder as Edward and I became closer. And moreover, if he couldn't accept me in spite of this, then he really wasn't worth having.

She was so right. I needed to be honest with him and promised that I would try to tell him soon.

Angela said that I was doing really well, considering. She thought that it would be a good idea to continue meeting, if I felt comfortable.

I agreed.

Our session had relieved some of my stress and the women in my life would be very happy that I had someone to talk to. I could tell Angela things that I would never reveal to Rose or Mom, out of embarrassment, pride, fear, protectiveness, etc.

It would be good to have an impartial listener to speak to. And Angela was kind and compassionate, but also very honest with me.

Before I left, she gave me a hug and I thanked her for her patience with me. She assured me that it was her job and she was happy to help in any way she could.

I headed home feeling pretty good, but supremely nervous as well. I needed to talk to Edward, and soon. It was the right thing to do for both of us.

I had asked him to communicate openly with me and yet I had not reciprocated. As if cancer wasn't reason enough to make him run, I hadn't been forthcoming with him and I wasn't sure if he would be okay with that.

We certainly weren't at the point where we knew everything about each other, but this was a really important aspect of my life and he needed to be aware of it. Then he could make the choice if I was worth sticking around for.

Knowing might change things for him. I wouldn't blame him if he found that being with a cancer patient was too difficult. It would be very understandable, but, the possibility seriously scared me. As short as our pseudo-relationship had been, I was falling for Edward. And I was falling hard.

I tried to remember what Angela had said and kept repeating it over and over in my mind. Be honest and be true to yourself and if he can't accept you then he isn't the one for you anyway. It was true, I knew that, but if he couldn't accept me I knew I would be crushed. Yet, I had to tell him and find out. And I had to do it immediately.

I picked up the phone and sent him a text. I knew he'd still be in class but I wanted to get the ball rolling before I lost my nerve.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

…

My phone rang and I lunged for it, answering without looking at the screen. I was surprised to hear a female voice on the other end as I was expecting Edward's smooth timbre.

"Oh," I said, not able to hide my disappointment. "Hey Rose. What's up?"

"Well don't sound so excited," she snapped.

"Sorry, I am just really keyed up right now and I was expecting another call."

"Whatever, I'll just talk to you later," she huffed in annoyance.

Rose was my best friend, but she had a temper that could flare up in an instant. Thankfully, her anger was rarely directed at me and I wanted to keep it that way.

"Wait Rosie, I'm sorry. I haven't talked to you in forever and I miss you," I said honestly.

Her voice softened at that, "I miss you too Em. Things haven't been the same between us lately. I feel like I never see you anymore."

"I know. It's just…"

"We're both busy," she finished for me.

"And have other people in our lives now," I added.

"Right," she concurred automatically.

I sat silently, waiting until she caught on. It only took her a few moments before she attacked. "Wait, what now? Who's in your life? You better spill it McCarty," she commanded.

I chuckled at her predictable reaction. Rose would never change.

"Emmett," she whined when I didn't continue immediately.

"Okay, okay woman," I began, shaking my head at her antics. "I'll tell you. Edward and I kind of hooked up last night."

"You're kidding? Like hooked up, hooked up? But, I thought he never called you back."

"Well he did, finally, and we met for coffee. Well, sort of."

"Okay explain."

"Well, it started off kind of rough, but in the end it was a pretty amazing night…"

I recounted the whole story for her apart from some of the more intimate details. Rose pressed me for those too, but she had to settle for knowing that we fooled around a little. She loved sharing those kinds of things about her relationships, but I wasn't so forthcoming. In my mind, that was meant to be private.

We also talked about my therapy appointment and I told her how great Angela was. She was happy that I was going to continue to see her, though I could tell that she was a bit jealous. Just as my Mom was jealous of my relationship with Rose; Rose, in turn, didn't like it when I became close with other women. I did my best to reassure her that she would always be important in my life. She was my best friend and that wasn't going to change.

After I had updated her on everything, I turned the conversation to her life. "So, tell me about yourself Miss Hale. How are things going with Jasper?"

"Actually, he's really great Emmett," she said with obvious affection. "I have never felt this way about anyone before. I am really falling for him… he might be the one."

My jaw dropped a little as I took in her statement. That was pretty bold, coming from Rose, and I knew she didn't say it lightly. "I'm so happy for you Rosie," I told her, wishing I could see her face. "We need to get together so that I can meet him officially."

"What about this weekend? You could bring Edward and we could make it a foursome."

"I don't know Rose. I'm not even sure if he'll still be in the picture then."

Ugh, that was a depressing thought.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, I told you that I'm going to tell him everything and I don't know how that's going to go. He may not want to stick around."

"Oh, give him a little credit Emmett. I don't know him, but I saw the way he looked at you at the club. He couldn't take his eyes off of you. I doubt that you're going to scare him off. It's not like you are terminal or anything."

"Way to be blunt Rose."

"Well, sorry, but it's true," she countered. "Besides, you're a catch. Any guy would be lucky to have you. If he doesn't realize that, then he doesn't deserve you."

That made sense in theory, but I couldn't help my fear of Edward's rejection. I answered Rose quietly, my voice full of doubt, "Yeah, I guess. I don't know though."

"Well, see how things go when you talk to him and, if you want to, invite him to come along. Okay?"

"Sure. Listen, Rose, I need to get going." I didn't want to talk about this anymore and I wanted the line to be free in case Edward called.

"Okay, Em. Let me know how it goes."

"I will," I promised. "Talk to you soon."

"Love you, buddy."

I smiled as I replied, "Love you too woman."

…

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

…

Edward was absolutely stunning tonight, as usual. I admired his lithe form as he sat on my couch leafing through a magazine. We had just come back from dinner - yes we had an actual date - and were going to hang out at my place. I was fixing us both some hot tea to help us relax, well more to help me relax. And it was a good excuse to stall a few more minutes before my inevitable disclosure.

As I waited for the water to boil, I mentally prepared for what I was about to say. Although, there really wasn't much more I could do to prepare myself. I had spent the past few days, since my therapy appointment, trying to come up with a good way to articulate this. But there was no good way to tell someone that you had cancer. It was not going to be easy, but I had decided that simple, straight forward honesty would be best.

Still, I had no idea how Edward would react and tonight had been so wonderful, I hated to ruin it with my news.

My mind wandered back over the evening so far. Our conversation at dinner had once again flowed easily. We talked about anything and everything, well maybe not everything, but we got to know each other better. I had never met anyone quite like Edward and I hoped that things would continue to progress between us.

He was sexy and confident tonight with his signature smirk back in full force, although he made another reference about not being good enough for me. I still wasn't sure what made Edward so insecure, but things were going so well that I chose not to question it, opting to let things run their own course. Besides, he may very soon realize that I'm worth it to him anyhow. I tried to push that thought away and focus on enjoying this time with him.

Neither of us spoke on the walk back to my apartment. I was completely lost in my own thoughts and nervousness about the upcoming conversation. And Edward seemed content enough with the quiet and walked silently next to me.

As we passed by the fountain, he surprised me by reaching for my hand. I eagerly accepted the gesture and gave him a smile before returning to my internal freak out. I wish I could have enjoyed the moment fully, but my mind was too preoccupied.

Presently, I joined Edward on the couch and sipped my tea, trying to calm my nerves. Apparently this was going to be the spot for our important conversations. Last time we sat here, he had confessed his uncertainty and now it was my turn to come clean. It was too much to hope that things would end as well as they had that night, but I had to hope anyway. What was the worst that could happen? Never mind, I didn't want to think about that.

I couldn't wait anymore. I had to get this off my chest once and for all. I took a deep, steadying breath and opened my mouth to speak.

But before I could begin, Edward cleared his throat causing the words to die in mine as I looked into his eyes for the first time since he'd reached for my hand on the sidewalk. I was shocked to find that he seemed just as nervous as I was. I had been so lost in my own head that I'd failed to notice this. Why was he so anxious? I was the one about to spill my guts.

"Emmett," he began hesitantly, "I have to… I have something that I need to say to you before this goes any further."

Crap. Now what do I do? I wanted to be a gentleman and let him speak first, and normally I would have, but I really needed to get this out before I lost my resolve.

"I have something I need to tell you too," I finally responded.

We both looked at each other appraisingly before he spoke. "Emmett, if you don't mind… I really need to say this to you. I just… please?"

He looked so vulnerable. How could I deny him?

"Of course, Edward," I relented. "Go ahead."

"Okay… thanks. I'm not really sure how to say this, but I just felt like you should know some things about me before things go any further between us."

I could feel the fear radiating off him and had to try to reassure him in some way. I reached over and squeezed his hand, "Just relax Edward. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

"No, Emmett," he shook his head but squeezed my hand in return. "I owe you an explanation for some of my behavior and I really need to say this."

I smiled lightly, "Okay then. I'm listening."

He kept a hold of my hand and looked down at his lap, seeming to gather his thoughts. I sat patiently, giving him the time he needed. I tried to keep my mind from racing with the possibilities, but the longer he waited the more worried I became.

He finally began to speak in a soft, subdued voice. "I told you before that I'm not good at the whole relationship thing. I feel like I need to explain myself a little better. The fact is, I've never…"

He glanced at me quickly, but then returned his gaze to our still intertwined hands.

"Never…?" I prompted.

"This is so embarrassing," he admitted.

I was becoming more concerned, but tried not to let on as I said, "Edward, it's okay. There's no reason to be embarrassed. Whatever it is, just say it."

"Okay." He took a deep breath before the words tumbled out of his mouth, "I've never had a boyfriend or a serious relationship before. I mean, not that I expect you to be… I mean, it's just that…I've never been comfortable enough to be…intimate with someone else…before."

He was holding my hand tightly and I rubbed my thumb over his skin in reassurance. "Edward, it's okay. That doesn't bother me at all." I mean did he really think so little of me that I'd dump him just because he hadn't been seriously involved before.

"But, I've never been with anyone before Emmett. I don't… I have no experience, nothing to offer you."

"What are you talking about Edward? You have so much to offer. I don't understand why you think so little of yourself. You are kind and sincere and beautiful. I know we haven't known each other very long, but I really like you. It doesn't matter whether you've had a serious boyfriend before or not."

His looked up at me, his expression hopeful, but then he withdrew his hand from mine and shook his head, looking down again. "Emmett, it's more than that. I haven't…well I have never really been with anyone before…"

I was taken aback. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?

I had to ask. "So, you've never?"

He replied quietly, barely above a whisper, and he still wouldn't look at me. "Um, no. That's bad right?"

"No…not bad. Just, uh, surprising?"

His head shot up and his emerald eyes locked with mine. They were shining with unshed tears and he stared intently at me, silently willing me to continue.

I hated to see him so upset so I did my best to comfort him, choosing my words carefully. "I mean, you seemed so confident when I first met you and at the club. And then, the other night, when we were together… I guess…I just figured you liked to take things slow?"

"Well, that's one way of putting it," he smirked a little before continuing somberly. "I've never been good at dating and all that. I always feel like I'm trying to be something that I'm not and it's hard for me to open up and just be myself. On the rare occasion that I find someone who isn't looking for a one night stand, I freak out and break it off before it gets too far. So, consequently, I've never gone all the way with someone. As dumb as it sounds, I wanted it to mean something when I gave myself to someone."

"That's not dumb, Edward…" I began.

He cut me off and continued, "I've had some bad experiences in the past." He closed his eyes as if to block out a bad memory and when he opened them again a single tear slid down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly as if he hoped I hadn't seen it, so I acted like I hadn't. "Emmett, no one has ever made me want to change my ways and stick around…except for you."

I really didn't know what to say. There was obviously more to this than he was letting on, but I didn't want to press him if he wasn't ready to share. This was a lot to take in and it made me even more uneasy about my own upcoming revelation. I was beginning to wonder if he'd even stick around long enough for me to share my news.

He continued on, "I know that I seem like a confident guy. I work hard to come across that way, but that's not really me. I pretty much let people see what I want them to see… and it usually works really well for me. But, for some reason, I can't pretend with you. You manage to see past my defenses without even trying and that scares me. But, what scares me even more is that I don't want to hide from you. I guess that's why I avoided you at first. I like you a lot Emmett, but I don't like feeling vulnerable."

He took a deep breath and looked me in the eye. He was openly crying now, but seemed sure of himself and what he was saying. "Emmett, I know I am going about this all wrong, but what I am trying to say is that you are worth it to me. You make me want to let down my guard and let you get to know the real me. I come with a lot of baggage and could never hope to be good enough for you, but I want to give us a try. But if…if you don't feel the same way then I totally understand. "

I looked carefully at the beautiful man in front of me. He had bared his soul and allowed himself to be vulnerable because he thought that I was worth it. I fell for him a little more in that moment. I reached over and grasped his hand in mine once again. I wanted him to feel the sincerity of my words as I spoke, "Edward, thank you for sharing that part of yourself with me. I know it wasn't easy for you and it means a lot that you would trust me with something so personal. Please don't be so down on yourself. I like you too and I would never push you to do anything that you're not ready for."

"That, right there, is why I could never deserve you. You are so kind and understanding. You are far too good for me."

I was beginning to get frustrated with his self-deprecating attitude. There was definitely something he wasn't telling me, a reason why he had become so insecure and emotionally withdrawn. And, while I wasn't going to push him for that information today, I needed to let him know that he was being ridiculous. Everyone deals with self doubt, but he was letting rule his life.

I spoke kindly, but firmly, "What are you talking about? You seem to have an image of me as this perfect guy, and while it's a great ego boost, I can assure you that it's far from the truth. Edward, you have so much to offer and you deserve to be with someone who will treat you well. I want to know all of you. I am not just in this for the sex. I mean, don't get me wrong, if and when you're ready for that, I will be more than willing. I am very attracted to you, but not just for your body. Edward, I like you. Won't you give me the chance to prove it to you?"

"Really? I mean, are you sure? I know it's a lot to ask…for you to wait for me and deal with all my crap."

He seemed so young and scared in this moment. I realized that even though I knew he was worth it, it would take time and patience to get that across to him. I liked him enough to try.

"Yes, Edward, I am completely sure. I want to continue to get to know you and see where this goes. But, I…"

His face fell, "It's too much, right?"

Of course he would misinterpret me.

"No! No, Edward. That's not it at all. I want to be with you, but I have some things I need to confess as well. You may find that my baggage is more than you can handle. And if that's the case, I won't blame you," I finished sullenly.

He reached over and caressed my cheek. "Emmett, that is impossible. I don't think I've ever been as happy as I am when I am with you."

I had to laugh at that statement, until I saw the hurt look on his face, prompting me to explain yet another misunderstanding. I reached over to wipe away some of his lingering tears as I spoke, "This is the happiest you've ever been Edward? Your life must be freakin' miserable."

He cracked a smile as he realized I was just joking and it served to lighten the mood a little.

Edward continued stroking my cheek as he said, "If you can accept me for all my flaws and insecurities, then there's nothing you can say that would make me leave."

I took comfort in his touch, but raised my brow at his speech. He didn't realize what we were dealing with here and I hated to break our new-found understanding, but this had to be said.

But, again, Edward spoke before I had the chance. "Listen, Emmett. I want to hear what you have to say, but would you mind if we saved that conversation for another night? I am kind of exhausted."

I wanted to tell him that this was too important to put on hold. But, I looked into his eyes, which were tired and bloodshot from crying, and didn't have the heart to say no. He had been through a lot of emotional stress and I couldn't put him through anymore.

Besides, it was late and I had to work tomorrow. So I agreed, somewhat reluctantly, "Sure, Edward. That's fine."

The corner of his mouth turned up with the hint of a smile as he leaned forward and embraced me tightly. "Thanks, Emmett," he whispered.

He felt so good in my arms.

I kissed his temple and closed my eyes, enjoying the moment.

…

**AN: And the plot thickens… I know this chapter was probably different than you were expecting, but we finally got a little insight on where Edward is coming from. I have been asked about that a lot, so hopefully this explains things a little. Don't worry, Emmett will have his say too – sooner or later. **

**I am toying with the idea of doing an upcoming chapter in Edward's point of view. Any thoughts on that? It would probably be a few chapters from now. **

**Well, that's all for now. Reviews and comments are appreciated :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

…

The sun was shining brightly behind my closed eyelids. I groaned, not wanting to open them and face the day. Ugh, why did I have to work on a Saturday? I rolled onto my back, stretching my arms above my head.

My hand bumped into something hard and all of the sudden I heard a crash. What the heck? I sat up quickly, feeling a bit disoriented. After rubbing my eyes, I looked down to see the shattered pieces of my used-to-be favorite mug and a pool of amber liquid spreading slowly over the floorboards.

The memories of last night came flooding back in an instant.

Edward… Dinner with Edward… Edward's confession… My lack of confession… Edward's arms wrapped tightly around me in an embrace…

Last night had not gone the way I anticipated. Not at all.

After Edward left, I spent hours on the couch, deep in thought. Evidently I sat there so long that I fell asleep.

Edward's revelation was unexpected, but didn't bother me at all. It didn't matter that he was inexperienced, we would learn together. Every relationship was different, and even though I was more experienced, I would be learning about him just as I would with any new partner. And as for the physical aspect, I was definitely the type to take things slow. I didn't sleep with just anyone and I was glad that Edward was careful too.

On the other hand, I was a bit concerned about what had caused Edward to make that choice. It was one thing to save yourself for the right person, but something told me this went much deeper than that. The pain in his eyes as he told me he'd had bad experiences…and the tears that escaped…

My heart broke for him.

What had happened to him? I wanted to know so badly.

Surely something must have happened to cause his pain and insecurity. I hated that he was hurting. I wanted to help sooth that hurt, but I would never push him. That was something we could work through together, in time, if he would allow me into his life.

My main concern was over the imminent disclosure of my own news. If I had been nervous before, I was now completely freaked. This was all becoming very complicated. How was I ever going to tell him now?

Would he want a relationship with someone like me? Would he be upset that he had exposed his soul to me, while I had been holding onto this important information? There were many ways this could go and I was having a hard time seeing any positive outcomes.

We had taken a huge step forward last night and I fervently hoped he wouldn't run when I finally told him.

I was supposed to be meeting up with Rose and Jasper tonight. At this point, I was very seriously considering calling to cancel and postpone it for another time. Part of me wanted to go out and have some fun and let loose, but the rest of me wanted to avoid it like the plague. I didn't want to face Rose right now and wasn't really up for being happy and friendly and getting to know someone new. Meeting Jasper was really important to me and to Rose. I wanted to do it right and I didn't think I could sit there and pretend like everything was fine. Not tonight.

Plus, I knew Rose would be disappointed in me for not sharing my situation with Edward. But, it really wasn't the best timing. Surely she would understand if I explained the circumstances.

I hadn't mentioned the outing to Edward at all. Things had been so heavy last night and I hadn't gotten to tell him everything. I just felt like that needed to be done before we took the next step.

And Edward meeting my best friend was a big step for me.

I really wanted it to happen, but I wanted it to be right. I didn't want to go into this feeling like I was hiding things from him. And, knowing Rose, she would find some way to bring it up and force me to confront him with the news in front of her and Jasper too. That wouldn't be fair to anyone. It would end badly and I knew Edward would run. He would probably run no matter what, but at least I could try to give us a fighting chance.

No, I definitely was not up for socializing tonight. I decided to text Rose right away and ask for a rain check. I knew she would be disappointed but would ultimately understand and support my decision.

Edward and I had not made any plans to meet up again. I definitely wanted to, but the night had been rough on him and I wanted to give him some space. Best case scenario - he would take the lead a little and call me and I would have the chance to tell him my news and things would go well and we could move on from there with the start of our relationship. I wasn't holding my breath, but a guy could still hope.

Dragging, my hand over my face, I forced myself to get up and start moving. I cleaned up the glass from my destroyed mug before putting on a pot of coffee and heading for the shower.

It was going to be a long day.

Things were going well for me at work. The important meeting I'd had earlier in the week had given me a lead which could land me another huge account. I would be meeting with Mr. Marcus and his lawyers today to try and win him over. If that went well, I'd be spending the day doing paperwork and finalizing the details of his investments.

I should be grateful. Most people would kill to land an account like this. There would be a nice bonus waiting for me when everything was set up, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I mean, I could use the money, but money wasn't everything. That had become even more apparent to me after my diagnosis.

While I was good at my job, it didn't bring me any satisfaction. It was just a job that paid the bills and I happened to be decent at. I really needed to look into making a change. Happiness was so much more important than a paycheck.

But, that was something I would have to think about later.

I sighed as I exited the elevator, leaving those hopes and dreams of another life behind as I marched down to my office and began what was sure to be a stressful day.

Mr. Marcus was known for his ruthless nature. He was a very wealthy man who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. I was just hoping he would be interested in what our firm had to offer.

After an hour or so, my assistant Chelsea poked her head in the door and informed me that Mr. Marcus had arrived.

I took a deep breath and put a smile on my face as I walked through the large oak doors of the boardroom. At the far end of the long table sat a pale man, who was probably in his early fifties. His skin was papery and sickly looking, and his raven black hair was slicked back into a ponytail. I didn't think I'd ever seen anyone like him. He was flanked by six burly men, who looked more like bodyguards than lawyers. I forced the smile to remain on my face although I was feeling a bit intimidated by this strange man and his entourage.

I returned my gaze to Mr. Marcus and watched his eyes widen as he looked me up and down appraisingly. A smug look came over his face as he stood and beckoned me to him. There was no mistaking the desire in his eyes as we shook hands.

Although he appeared ancient and infirm, his grip and demeanor suggested that he was a very strong and formidable man. He brought his free hand up and caressed the back of my hand as he continued to grip me tightly.

"Ah, this must be the famous Mr. McCarty. I look forward to working with you and hope you will be able to see to my needs."

He looked me in the eye as he said this and it was obvious that his words carried a double meaning. I shivered and my smile faltered a little as I tried to ignore my instincts, which were telling me to stay as far away from this creepy man as possible. This was my job and I had to deal with him in as professional a manner as possible.

When I had recovered enough to speak I responded, "Mr. Marcus, it is a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to working with you and hope that our firm will be able to meet your needs."

He grinned as he purred, "Please call me Aro…" He looked me over as he continued to hold my hand securely, "I am quite sure that _you_ will have no problem taking care of me Mr. McCarty."

I cleared my throat uncomfortably and carefully removed my hand from his, taking a small step back.

"Yes, well let's get down to business then shall we? And please call me Emmett," I stated trying to put the focus back on our meeting.

He was not at all deterred by my subtle attempt to pull away and sneered superiorly as he ordered one of his lawyers to move so that I could sit beside him.

"There Emmett," he said with obvious satisfaction as he leaned in close, "Let me show you my portfolio."

Yes, this was going to be a very long day indeed.

Thankfully, once we started talking investments, Aro was all business. He was an incredibly smart man and it was obvious that he took great pride in managing his own accounts. He was very knowledgeable and there was really no need for his numerous lawyers. Nevertheless, they stayed the whole time taking copious notes and shooting each other looks – mostly looks of approval, for which I was grateful. I knew that Aro was not someone I wanted to cross.

I worked hard, hoping that we could get all the details taken care of today. From a business standpoint Aro was a great client, but in all other aspects I would be happy when I didn't have to deal with him anymore.

Aro had certainly lived up to his reputation. But, unfortunately, he seemed to be just as interested in me as he was in the firm. Things with the account were going amazingly well and I had no doubt that he would invest with us. However, I was not sure if my attempts to discourage his advances were as successful.

Throughout the morning Aro had come onto me strong, touching me subtly at every opportunity and inviting me for dinner at his private condo. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but I couldn't if I wanted to land this account. So I smiled and played along, although I made it known that I was unavailable.

Hopefully I wouldn't be dealing with him very often. He was a wealthy man who would most likely send his lawyers or subordinates to deal with this kind of thing in the future.

The best part of my day came just after lunch. I had politely refused Aro's invitation to dine together - choosing instead to hole up in my office, catching up on some other paperwork. The work wasn't pressing, but I really wanted an excuse to get away from Aro for a few minutes. That guy was seriously disturbing.

I sunk down into my chair grateful for a few moments of peace.

The office was pretty busy for a Saturday, as there were several people tying up their loose ends from the week.

Most of the employees worked from cubicles in the center of the floor. I was one of the few lucky enough to have my own office and I don't think I had ever been more thankful for it.

Before long, though, it was time to head back to the meeting room. As I made my way through the maze of cubicles, my pocket buzzed - signaling an incoming text message on my phone. I opened it and a huge smile spread across my face. I couldn't contain my excitement, as I threw my arms in the air and screamed, "Yes!" before I remembered where I was.

I looked around, meeting the curious eyes of my coworkers, most of which were attempting to stifle their laughter over my crazy outburst. I shrugged and apologized, but I honestly didn't care. My day had just gotten a whole lot better and I reentered the board room with a genuine smile on my face, closing the deal with Aro Marcus in record time.

The text had been so sweet and so unexpected, just like the man it came from.

**Emmett, thanks for a great night :) You are a pretty amazing man. Can I see you again sometime?**

I continued to grin like an idiot as I read and reread the message. Yes, I know, I was acting like a silly love-struck teenager. But, I couldn't help but be excited that he wanted to see me again.

As soon as I had a free moment, I texted him back and we decided to meet up Thursday evening.

I left the office feeling loads better than when I had entered. Maybe things would work out after all. No matter what, Thursday was my day to come clean. I was not going to allow anything to stop me this time. I was going to lay it all out and hopefully we'd be able to move forward together.

…

**AN: The next chapter will be Emmett's big reveal and will be at least partly in Edward's POV. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: This took longer than I expected…but here it is! Happy reading :)**

…

**Chapter 17**

…

Time was never on my side. It always did the exact opposite of what I wanted.

Of course, this week, I really couldn't figure out what I wanted.

Part of me wanted to procrastinate and put this off for as long as possible. And yet, Thursday couldn't come soon enough. I just wanted to get it all over with and come out on the other side… hopefully with Edward still in the picture.

My week had been busy, which was good in that it kept my mind from wandering over the looming conversation too much.

When I entered the office on Monday morning, there was an enormous gourmet gift basket on my desk. Honestly, that thing was huge. Enclosed was a thank you note:

_ My Dear Emmett,_

_ I so enjoyed meeting with you this weekend and I look forward to seeing you again soon. _

_ This is just a small token of my appreciation, but there is plenty more where that came from. _

_ I have also taken the liberty of giving your card to a few of my esteemed colleagues. _

_ Be expecting some calls from several promising new clients. I'll be in touch._

_ Yours, Aro_

I stared blankly at the note in my hand, not knowing what to make of this. From anyone else, it would seem like a very generous gesture. And while it was that, it was also something much more.

The flashing red light on my phone caught my attention and I paused to listen to my messages. The sheer number of potential clients that had called was simply unprecedented. Aro was a very influential man.

Although I was grateful for the business, I was a bit worried about accepting favors from this man. There was definitely an ulterior motive here. But, before I had a chance to make up my mind on the matter, my boss came in and made the decision for me. He was ecstatic about what this would do for the firm's reputation and insisted that I follow up on these leads.

So, I had spent most of the week on the phone, setting up meetings, and doing more paperwork than I normally did in a month. Between Aro and the new referrals, I was completely bogged down.

On a more positive note, Edward and I had spoken every day this week.

It started on Sunday, when I called to firm up our plans for Thursday evening. After some serious thought, the idea had come to invite him over for dinner at my place. Not that I was the best cook, but I thought it would be a nice romantic gesture. Yeah, I guess I'm just a big old softie. Plus, this conversation could not be had in a public place, so a dinner in seemed like the best option.

He agreed to come over and, since then, we'd been calling or texting each other at least once a day. Nothing too serious or life-altering was shared; we just talked about our days and asked each other random questions. It was all very normal and I was grateful for that.

We even met up for a quick lunch at a café on Tuesday. One of Edward's classes had been cancelled and he called to see if I could meet him. It was casual, no kissing or intimate touching, but that was fine. I was just happy that he had wanted to spend time with me.

Now, more than ever, I felt the need to tell him - before it was too late. We were becoming closer and really getting to know one another. Even though there was a lot left unsaid between us, things felt effortless with Edward. If I could only get past my admission, I think we could have a real shot.

Of course, I was afraid to lose him now that things were going so well. He was already wary of commitment, how would this help?

But, I had made the decision to go ahead with this, and I was sticking to it…Only one more day…

…

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

…

I really don't know how I made it through the week. It had been exhausting.

Edward had been great this week. He was still a bit unsure of himself sometimes, but things were going well.

Now that my confession had been put off, I was having a hard time figuring out how to bring it up again. Nevertheless, tonight was the night. No turning back. I was seriously nervous. But, I was telling Edward no matter what. I would not be distracted or let anything stop me from sharing this with him.

Thankfully, I had tomorrow off. My boss actually told me to take the day due to all the overtime I'd been putting in.

This was a relief because, whichever way things went tonight, I knew I could use the mental health day. The only thing that remained to be seen was how I'd be spending the day - either basking in the glow or wallowing in despair.

After rushing home from work, I took a quick shower, and started cooking immediately. On the menu for tonight, was a new recipe that I got from the Food Network. On the show, they'd made gorgonzola and porcini mushroom risotto with seared chicken. It looked so good.

Now, I wasn't exactly a gourmet chef, but I wanted to make something special for Edward. This was pretty ambitious for me, though, and I prayed that it would turn out alright.

I followed the instructions to the letter and put forth my best effort, but I could tell that it wasn't going to be as good as _Giada's Everyday Italian_. Not even remotely. Actually, it looked pretty disgusting, but I hoped it wouldn't taste too horrible. Sometimes things that look bad can actually taste good, right? Well, that's what I was banking on.

Edward arrived exactly on time, greeting me with that beautiful smirk and a big hug. Dinner was ready, so we sat down to eat right away. I tried to make the table look presentable, laying out a table runner and some candles, in an attempt to cover up the ugliness of the food. But, whether it would work or not… I wasn't so sure.

Mom had bought me the runner years ago, despite my insistence that I would never use it. And until now, that had been true. It was very much appreciated at the moment and, with the addition of the candles, made for a romantic atmosphere.

Edward politely ate some of the dish, giving me praise, but I took one bite and spit it into my napkin. It was even worse than I had anticipated.

Mortified beyond belief, I apologized, "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry Edward. This is horrible."

"It's not that bad," he offered kindly.

"Yes it is. It's terrible. I'll order takeout, Chinese or pizza?"

…

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

…

I became increasingly nervous as the night wore on. Edward must have sensed this and kept stealing glances at me as we ate. But, I continued to shove food in my mouth, avoiding and procrastinating.

Eventually we'd finished eating and I'd cleaned up and was sitting next to Edward on the couch. There was no more time for stalling. He deserved to know and I had to get this off of my chest. It was like a weight had settled there and was pushing down on me, constricting me. It was becoming hard to breathe. My hands were balled tightly into fists and I was shaking my leg, trying to relieve some of my anxiousness. Edward finally put his hand on my knee to stop me.

"Hey," he began, "Emmett what's wrong? Is something bothering you?"

This was the moment of truth.

…

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

…

**EDWARD'S POINT OF VIEW**

…

I smiled, internally, at the disaster that was Emmett's dinner. It was gross, maybe the worst thing I've ever tasted. But, he had made it for me. And it was his sweetness which made me smile. I was pretty lucky to have found him.

I couldn't believe how fast things were moving between us and that I was actually allowing myself to trust him. It had been years since I had opened up to someone new. Well, except for Alice.

She was different though. I don't think I ever made a conscious decision to be open with her, she demanded it of me and there was no disagreeing with Alice. But she was a good friend and I would have never ended up here with Emmett if it wasn't for her. So I couldn't be too put out with the little rascal - no matter how exasperating she could be.

To me, Emmett was perfect. What a beautiful man, gorgeous in fact. He was fun and playful, very confident and sure of himself. And he had a good heart. He was everything that I was not.

But he had told me before that he had something to confess…baggage that might make me not want him anymore. I couldn't imagine that. What could possibly take me away from this great man, other than my personal fears and hang-ups? Surely, nothing that he could say would make me leave.

Currently we were sitting on his sofa, having just finished our takeout.

Something was up. Emmett had been avoiding eye contact all evening and had barely spoken to me. He was obviously nervous, although he was trying to hide it. His entire body was tense, consumed in his worry. His jaw was clenched, as were his hands, and he was just plain jittery.

His anxiousness was seeping into me and making me nervous as well. What was going on? Was he going to break it all off? Had he had enough of me?

I'd given him plenty of space, but I couldn't take it anymore. Putting a comforting hand on his knee, I spoke gently to him. "Hey. Emmett, what's wrong? Is something bothering you?"

His shaking ceased immediately and he looked at me with haunted eyes. Yes, something was definitely wrong.

"I, uh… I have something I need to talk to you about. I should have told you a long time ago, but I just…well, I guess I didn't want to scare you off. You deserve to know. Sorry, I'm being so…ugh, why is this so hard?"

I had never heard Emmett sound so unsure of himself. He was beginning to sound like me with the nervous insecurity. Wanting to ease his distress, I spoke reassuringly, "Emmett, baby, it's okay. Just tell me."

He gasped in shock at the term of endearment. I was surprised at it myself, but I certainly wasn't about to take it back. In spite of the bad timing, I was falling for him. And he needed me right now.

His eyes held mine and I could see his determination as he began, "Okay… well, you know that your Dad is my doctor right?"

How could I ever forget that? I mean, that's where I first saw him – my Father's office. But, where was he going with this?

With a bit of a smirk, I answered, "Yes, I believe that's how we met."

He smiled, that gorgeous dimpled smile, before taking a deep breath and getting back to business.

"Yeah. Right…I, uh…" his smile faltered.

He couldn't seem to find the words and sighed, running his hand over his face. I hated to see him so stressed. I remembered how nervous I was the other night and how he had grabbed hold of my hand. That small act had truly touched my heart and helped me so much.

Maybe I should try it now, it couldn't hurt. And I wanted him to know I was there for him and would support him, like he had supported me.

Cautiously, I reached over and took his hand in mine. His head jerked up, brilliant blue eyes meeting mine. I tried to convey my concern and sincerity through my gaze and he gave me a small smile and seemed to calm down considerably.

He took a deep breath and continued, "Well, Dr. Cullen is not only my general family practice doctor…"

He paused, gathering his thoughts, and my own mind began to race. He couldn't be going where I thought he was going with this…could he? No, surely not. Okay, focus Edward; listen to the man in front of you.

"…he is my oncologist."

Time seemed to stand still in that moment. I couldn't even process what he had said. As soon as the words had left his mouth he removed his hand from mine, closing his eyes tightly.

I sat there in shock. How could this be true? This beautiful, strong man was one of my father's cancer patients? It couldn't be true. There must be some mistake.

Looking over, I saw Emmett's face contort with pain and realized that I was taking too long to respond. He must be hurting and here I am sitting silently, like an idiot, seemingly rejecting him. I regained my composure and reached out to touch him. I cupped his cheek gently in my hand, wanting him to know that it was okay. That I would be there for him.

As I caressed his cheek, I spoke softly, "Look at me Emmett."

He slowly opened his eyes, which were watery with unshed tears. I had never seen Emmett look so vulnerable.

I spoke with as much sincerity as I possessed, hoping some of it would show through to him, "I am so sorry Emmett. I'm sorry you felt you couldn't tell me and I'm sorry you're going through this. But, I'm not going to run away. You haven't scared me off."

I paused and smiled at him, which he returned tentatively. I removed my hand from his face but continued to look into those piercing blue eyes as I asked the question that was weighing heavily on my heart and mind. "How bad is it?"

I was prepared for the worst at this point, but was hopeful. My Father was the best around and if anyone could help Emmett through this, it was the renowned Dr. Cullen.

"Well, it could be a lot worse. I caught it really early…actually the tests came back on the same day that I first met you at the office…"

Emmett went on to explain his diagnosis of testicular cancer and the treatment he had undergone so far. He'd been through so much, and I was thankful that this type of cancer was so treatable. But, I knew it was still serious and he'd have to be monitored closely.

But, I didn't tell him this. I'm sure he was already well aware and he didn't need me to be his physician. Instead, I expressed my concern and happiness that things were going well so far. And that I had a lot of faith in my father. I even admitted, with extreme embarrassment, to wondering about his single testicle.

He told me that he was afraid to let me go down on him that night. He was afraid that I would notice and question him or even reject him. I assured him that nothing could be further from the truth and that it didn't matter to me in the slightest.

He had begun to see a therapist and was going to start group therapy sessions next week as well. As I sat and listened to this man, I was humbled by his strength and courage. He was truly a special person and I was bursting with the need to make my feelings known.

"Emmett, it might be too soon for this. I don't want to freak you out, but I think I am falling in love with you."

Yeah, I just blurted that out. I don't know why. My mental filter must be on the fritz, but I couldn't take it back now. It was true, and I might as well let him know it. Emmett brought something out in me. I couldn't hide from him, I didn't want to. I only hoped I wasn't pushing him away by saying it so soon. I mean we hardly knew each other.

At first, his mouth dropped open in astonishment. But when his face lit up and his mouth spread into that huge dimpled grin, I couldn't help myself. I leaned forward and crushed my lips to his, before he had the chance to respond.

I did an internal dance of joy when I felt him kiss me back. Our mouths moved together slowly and sensually, with unrestrained zeal. Before I could think about what I was doing, I began undressing him.

My breath caught in my throat as his beautiful muscular chest was exposed to me. I could spend the rest of my life just looking at this man. Truthfully. He was the most gorgeous man I'd ever laid eyes on.

It was hard to believe that he had chosen to be with me. He trusted me and had allowed himself to be vulnerable. Being someone with serious trust issues myself, I recognized this for the gift that it was. It was not something to be taken lightly and I only hoped I could be deserving of it.

My hands wandered over his skin as I began lavishing him with kisses. I nipped at the soft spot behind his ear, smirking when I felt him shiver. I licked the same spot earning me a groan that went straight to my groin. I continued to kiss and lick my way down his body, causing Emmett to writhe beneath me. But I kept up the slow torture, savoring the feel of his smooth skin under my lips and tongue.

I was a bit surprised at my boldness, but being around Emmett seemed to lower my inhibitions, giving me a confidence that I rarely possessed these days. I felt safe with him.

In spite of all my fears and hang-ups, I had fallen for this man and I had fallen hard. Emmett was quickly becoming my everything. And no one could be more surprised about that than me. I had vowed to never get in this deep with anyone again, but something told me Emmett was different.

Tonight was about him and I was going to focus on his pleasure. I wanted to let him know that it was okay, I would still love him even if he had cancer. This didn't change anything for me.

He was still Emmett. My wonderful, gorgeous, perfect Emmett. And I wanted him to feel all the love that I had for him.


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: And we're back to Emmett's POV, although we'll be hearing from Edward again sometime in the future. Thank you so much for sticking with me on this adventure. And an extra special thanks to my reviewers; it makes my day every time I read one – seriously! Enjoy :)**

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**Chapter 18**

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Last night did not going according to plan. Not even close.

First off, I completely screwed up dinner. Ugh, I felt so stupid about that. I should have at least tasted it before serving it to him.

Lesson learned.

At least he was nice about it, far nicer than I deserved. That crap was disgusting.

And then I opened my mouth, resulting in nervous and uncontrollable rambling. I never got like that, but I couldn't help it.

I was a wreck.

Edward was great though, talking me through it in such a caring way. And when he grabbed my hand, my heart skipped a beat.

What a wonderful man. I really needed to learn the rest of his story and find out what had caused this beautiful compassionate person to become so insecure and withdrawn.

When I finally got the words out, I couldn't bear to look at him and face his rejection. I knew I was being a coward, but if he was going to run, then I didn't want to watch. I closed my eyes and waited with bated breath… for his reply, his anger at me for not telling him before, his rejection of me because this was all too much to handle. I waited for something – anything. I waited and waited and thought maybe he'd actually walked out the door and left.

But, then I felt his hand caress my cheek as he softly asked me to look at him.

When I opened my eyes, I was met with his bright green ones boring into mine with intensity. I saw sadness there, but also kindness and acceptance as he spoke to me sincerely.

I told him about my prognosis and therapy stuff, but I didn't mention my Dad. That was too much for me to handle, having shared so much already. I was becoming emotional and really didn't want to break down in front of him.

I couldn't believe how understanding and supportive he was. Whatever his personal issues, whatever he was going through, he put it aside and focused on me. He made me feel safe, like maybe it would all be okay and I could get through this.

Then, after everything, Edward shocked me by saying something that I never thought I'd hear from him, let alone this soon. He was falling in love with me? No way!

And then he kissed me.

I'd never been kissed like that before. It was passionate, but still slow and tender. He poured all his love and acceptance for me into his kisses and I poured my thanks, gratefulness and love back to him. How did I get so lucky? I couldn't believe he still wanted me.

He began slowly removing my clothes as he continued to cover me with sweet kisses. Once I was fully undressed, I went to return the favor. He let me take off his shirt, but stopped me before I could go any further.

"Not right now. Let me love you baby," he murmured, his voice deeper and huskier than normal.

My heart melted right then and there.

He began to trail his fingers over my body and I shivered at his gentle touch. This was different than before; it was different than any other time I'd ever been with anyone. The tenderness, with which he handled me, touched my soul. I had never felt more loved or cherished.

He went down on me and slowly caressed and licked every inch of me, paying special attention to my sac. When he placed a soft kiss on my scar, my breath caught in my throat. He continued to place several open mouthed kisses on the area, eliciting feelings like I've never experienced before.

Not only were the physical sensations wonderful and such a turn on, but the care with which it was done was heartrending. It felt like my heart might burst from it all.

He focused on me completely, making me feel whole and loved. He made me feel like a man again. Even though he'd done similar things to me before, it was without this knowledge. And knowing that he accepted me anyway was an indescribable feeling.

It was everything.

I hadn't even realized how emasculated I'd felt after my surgery. I thought I had dealt with it, but it wasn't until now that I grasped just how much it had affected me. Edward was helping to restore me to the man I wanted to be.

Tears began streaming down my face. It was all too much. The emotions were overwhelming. I caressed my fingers through his hair, trying to reciprocate some of my feelings back to him. I couldn't speak, for the huge lump residing in my throat.

He brought me to a climax that built slowly and was the most powerful of my life.

Afterward, I pulled him up to me and kissed him with everything that I had, silently showing my thanks. I reached down to unbutton his jeans, but he pushed my hand away gently, saying, "No baby. This was about you. Will you let me stay tonight?"

"Of course," I answered.

How he seemed to know exactly what I needed, I'll never know. But, I'll be forever grateful. We made our way to my bed where he stripped down to his underwear and pulled me into his arms.

Holding me tight, he tenderly kissed the top of my head. "Good night Emmett."

"Good night beautiful," I replied as I snuggled into his chest. "Thank you so much."

I closed my eyes and began to drift off to sleep. As I was nearing unconsciousness I thought I heard a whispered, "I love you," but I couldn't be sure.

Either way, I submitted to the darkness with a smile on my face and feeling more content than I would have thought possible.

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**AN: I know this was short, but I really wanted to share Emmett's POV with you. Hope you enjoyed!**


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Welcome readers new and old. Okay, I have no amazing excuses for you. I love writing this story and am absolutely committed to seeing it through to its conclusion. But, I make no promises as to the timing of said conclusion. That being said, I will try really hard not to let so much time pass between updates in the future. So, without further ado…**

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**Chapter 19**

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Her office was warm and inviting, comfortable, kind of like Angela herself. Even though she was a virtual stranger, I felt quite comfortable with her.

This fact was odd and very out of character for me. I mean, I was cool with meeting new people and all, but I didn't often share the private details of my life with them.

Yet, somehow with Angela, I felt like I could.

At the moment, I sat in a cozy armchair across from her. She smiled softly at me before asking the question that I really didn't feel like discussing.

"So, Emmett, how did the group therapy session go?"

Ugh, never again. That's what I wanted to say.

The group session was not so great. It wasn't bad per se, mostly it was just depressing. It made me think about things that I was trying to put behind me. I wanted to move on with my life, not dwell on my story and tearfully relive it while giving my account to a group of strangers.

Not that that's what I did… it didn't feel right sharing my personal life with those people. People I didn't know or trust. Why should I tell them?

About twenty of us had attended the meeting last night. It was located in a church basement and led by a man named Garrett.

Garrett was kind of a hippie, with long sandy colored hair pulled back into a ponytail. He wore a brightly patterned tunic over light wash jeans and a dopey smile on his face. But, he was nice enough and started off the sharing. He had lost his baby sister to cancer when she was a teenager and dedicated his life to helping others cope. His job was to listen and keep the discussion going.

As kind as he was, I was very uncomfortable with the whole thing. We were seated in a large circle and basically went around and told our stories and relationships to cancer. Some people had been here numerous times and there were a few, like me, who had just joined the group.

Several shared their experiences and the rest sat quietly. Some seemed to have accepted and reconciled with their situation, others were angry or sad and devastated.

I wasn't quite sure where I fit into the mix.

The session lasted about two and a half hours and I was exhausted at the end of it. It had been emotionally draining and for the most part served to upset me more than help me. They offered refreshments afterward, but I didn't stick around. I hadn't said anything during the session and didn't want to be confronted by anyone.

I was doing just fine without these so-called supporters. I had been talking things through with Angela and I had Mom and Rose and now Edward. I didn't need those other people or their pity… or support or whatever it was that they could offer me. I wasn't interested.

"Emmett?" Angela prompted after I had failed to answer.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I just spoke the truth, "Honestly, I don't know if I can go back there again."

"It was that bad?" She didn't judge or guilt me with her question, it was more for clarification.

That's what I liked about Angela; she basically just helped me to think things through on my own. Sometimes offering a professional opinion, but mostly just listening and helping to facilitate. She pushes me out of my comfort zone sometimes, but I guess it is good for me in the long run.

"Well…yeah. Kind of. I mean, everyone was nice enough and meant well…I don't know. I guess I expected to feel better afterwards, but it was really depressing. And I don't want to feel like that. I'm sick of dwelling on this cancer thing all the time. I want to push it aside and move on with my life, you know?"

"Hmm…that's a good point. You want to move on with your life and not let this cancer hold you back. But, this is a part of your life isn't it? Do you think pushing it aside will make it disappear?"

"No, I guess not. It's never gonna go away is it?" I sulked. I knew it was true, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

"Emmett, no one is going to force you to go to these meetings. You can go if and when you like. Maybe it's not working for you now, but there may be a time when you'll want that support."

"But I already have support. I've been more open with the people in my life."

"Yes, you have. And I think that is wonderful…an important step. Do you think it would help to talk to someone who actually understands and has been in your position?"

"I don't know…in theory, yes."

"Well, if I could make a suggestion…?"

"Sure."

"Why don't you choose a number of meetings that you will commit to attending? It could be two or ten, whatever you're comfortable with. Follow through with that commitment and see how it goes. If it still doesn't seem to be helping you in a positive way, then stop going. You can always go back later if you change your mind."

"Well…I have to admit it sounds like a good idea."

"So, that's a yes?"

"Yeah, it is," I agreed.

"Alright Emmett, I think you're on the right track here. I know that the support group only meets once a month. So think about how many meetings you're going to commit to attending and we'll discuss it next week, okay?"

"Okay Angela. Thank you."

"No need to thank me Emmett, this is what I'm paid for," she answered with a teasing smile.

"True true," I returned, with a smile of my own, as I headed out of the office.

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***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

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I was missing Edward something fierce. We'd been inseparable since the night I finally admitted everything. The night I fell for him completely.

It was amazing how much closer we'd become in the days that followed. He was so understanding and accepting, but still treated me like a normal person and not a victim. I couldn't have been more grateful for that.

On Friday, the day after my big reveal, he blew off his classes so we could spend the day together. We spent the unseasonably warm day at the zoo, walking hand in hand and looking at the animals. It was nice to just talk and laugh and have fun, without the pressure of my secret looming over me. I hadn't been to the zoo since I was a kid and it was great to share that with Edward. It was exactly what I needed.

We had a lengthy debate over which animal was the most interesting. While Edward preferred the lions, I was captivated by the bears. In the end, we agreed to disagree and bought each other a souvenir of our respective favorites. A beautiful wood carving of a grizzly now sits on the night stand next to my bed.

But now I was in Edward withdrawal. Between my crazy schedule and his class work, I hadn't been able to see him in days. Granted, it had only been three whole days, but it felt like so much more. I was aching to see him again. When had I become so needy?

Fortunately, we planned to spend the whole weekend together. And it would only be a few short hours before we'd be in each other's arms. Tonight couldn't come soon enough.

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***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

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Several hours of work, two pizzas and a movie later – Edward and I were curled into each other's sides on my couch.

Finally, I could relax. This was where I belonged.

As much as I loved going out and being social, I craved this alone time with Edward. We didn't have to do anything special. Just being together, like this, was more than sufficient.

It struck me that I hadn't been to Edward's apartment yet, which – come to think of it – was a little strange. Somehow we always managed to end up back here.

I'd never thought much about it before and had been happy to have him at my place. But now, I couldn't help wondering if there was a reason he didn't want me at his place. In fact, I didn't even know where he lived. There were still a lot of things that I didn't know about Edward.

However, I chose to overlook all this for now and just focus on my beautiful man, who was currently pressing his soft lips into the crook of my neck.

"How was therapy?" he asked softly against my skin, breaking the comfortable silence.

I shrugged in response, "It was good, I guess. We mostly talked about the group session."

He pulled away from me, enough to look into my eyes, as he spoke, "That's right…I completely forgot to ask you about that. How did it go?"

"Crappy," I answered honestly. "I have never felt more depressed than I did when I left that place."

"Why didn't you call me?" His emerald orbs were blazing with concern.

I pulled away even further, as I murmured, "I'm sorry. I guess I'm so used to dealing with this kind of thing on my own. I'm not used to confiding in someone and I…" I felt awful now. I couldn't even look at him anymore.

He reached for my hand immediately, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Emmett, baby, it's okay. I'm not mad at you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. Anytime. For anything. You can lean on me."

"Thanks beautiful," I looked back at him with a smile.

Edward returned it for a moment, before asking, "So, are you going back?"

"Yeah… Angela wants me to commit to a certain number of group sessions," I whined.

"Well don't sound too excited," he jested.

"I know. It won't be that bad, not really. I guess I want to put this all behind me and kind of forget about it. I don't want to think about it all the time. I want to move on with my life, you know?"

"Well of course you should move on with your life, but you need to deal with this too. This is part of your life and it won't just go away baby."

"Yeah," I conceded, "that's pretty much what Angela said."

He smirked, "Well then, she must be a very smart woman."

I punched his arm lightly in response.

He laughed and said, "Maybe it will get better. It could be good for you."

"Yeah, maybe you're right. I guess I'll find out."

He grew serious again, "I could always go with you sometime…if you like."

I squeezed the hand that was still held in mine. How sweet is he?

"I don't think I'm ready for that yet, but thank you for the offer. Maybe someday."

We sat in silence for a few moments before I decided to move the conversation forward and onto a new topic. I had talked enough about this for one day.

"You ready for tomorrow, beautiful?"

"Yep," he answered without pause. But I knew he was trying to hide his nerves, even without the tell-tale blush that was creeping over his gorgeous visage.

"You do remember that we're meeting up with Rose and Jasper this weekend, right?"

"I know," he huffed. "I'm trying not to think about it too much."

"Why?" I asked innocently.

Of course I knew the answer, as we had discussed it a hundred times. Well, not literally. But, I knew that he really wanted Rose to like him as he knows how important she is to me. And, if I'm honest, he is right to be nervous. Rosie is seriously intimidating, especially where the guys I'm seeing are concerned. I didn't tell Edward that, though. No need to worry him any further.

"Oh shut up," he shoved me in playful annoyance. "You know perfectly well that I'm nervous about meeting Rose. Do you have to keep rubbing it in?"

"I can't help it that you're a worry wart. Plus, I love watching you blush," I said with a wink.

"Oh, that's it mister," he growled playfully as he hit me over the head with a pillow.

I jumped up – grabbing another pillow to retaliate – and he took off running, his laughter echoing behind him. I couldn't help the grin from forming on my face as I gave chase, eventually cornering him in my bedroom. After tackling him to the bed, I began to tickle him relentlessly – until we were both in tears from laughing so hard.

I reached up to wipe his eyes, and then my own, before crushing my lips to his.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**AN: I am SO SORRY for the long wait… I seriously can't believe that it's been a year and a half since my last update. I have no excuse, but some recent reviews have served as a motivator for me (thanks Snappher!) and I plan to continue writing and updating again! I don't know how many former readers are still out there, but if you are thanks so much for sticking with me – I appreciate it! ****And, to any new readers…I welcome you! **

**This chapter is quite short, but I wanted to put it out there and get my creative juices flowing. Hopefully, there will be more updates to follow soon! Thanks for reading and love to you all :)**

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I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before pulling him into the building. I would never admit it to him, but I was a bit nervous too. I mean, this was a pretty big deal…meeting the boyfriend, namely Jasper, and showing off the…uh, boyfriend, I guess.

Actually, Edward and I hadn't really talked about the status of our relationship. Was he my boyfriend? Were we just dating? How should I introduce him?

Crap. Now I was starting to sound like Edward.

I shouldn't be worried. Seriously, this was Rose. And if I couldn't be comfortable around her, then there was no hope for me. Taking a calming breath, I smiled at my man in reassurance and gave our name to the hostess.

Within five minutes, we were seated at a corner table and awaiting the arrival of our dinner companions. As the minutes ticked by, Edward seemed to forget his worries, becoming relaxed with our easy conversation. In fact, we were so caught up in each other that I nearly jumped out of my skin when a hand clamped down on my shoulder and I felt a warm breath next to my ear. Before I could react further a breathy voice said, "Hey big fellow, what's on the menu for tonight?"

I couldn't help the loud guffaw that erupted from my mouth as I pulled Rose down and into a fierce hug. I may have been a little too enthusiastic, as I nearly knocked her to the floor. There was a beat of silence and then we were both cracking up. I pulled her into my lap and she clung to me while laughing as hard as I've ever seen her.

In the back of my mind, I knew I needed to calm down and introduce Edward. Or at least pull myself together enough to exude some fragment of decorum for the fine establishment. But, it was no use. We couldn't stop. Once one of us would begin to calm down, the other would snort or giggle or something and it would start up all over again. I was literally crying, I was laughing so hard.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper nudge Edward asking in a low drawl, "Are they always like this?"

"I have no idea, but it's kinda scary," Edward replied.

"Ya got that right," Jasper laughed as he held out his hand. "I'm Jasper," he said genially as he took a seat next to Edward. They began a friendly conversation, which I couldn't follow for the life of me. Rose and I still couldn't quite control ourselves and left Edward and Jasper to their own devices. Thank goodness they seemed to be getting on pretty well.

When we finally returned to the land of respectable adulthood and Rose took a seat, Edward shot me an amused look and Jasper took Rose's hand and kissed it saying, "Well that was quite entertainin' darlin.'" To which she promptly smacked his arm and said, "Oh just shut up."

Then we all burst into giggles like school children, ensuring that not an ounce of tension was to be found among us. The waiter came and took our drink orders and then I reached across to shake Jasper's hand. "Jasper, it's good to see you man."

"Same here," he responded confidently and with a good, firm grip.

Before I could continue, Rose poked me in the ribs as a not so subtle hint to make my own introduction. I looked sheepishly at Edward, before twining my fingers with his and announcing proudly, "And this is my Edward."

Rose beamed at us both and Edward blushed a little.

The evening went by smoothly from there. It was so much better than I could have ever hoped. I was very relieved, and I could tell that Edward was too.

As we headed out of the restaurant, waving our good-byes and promising to meet again soon, I crashed into someone pretty harshly. I quickly apologized, though I don't think I could have done the man any real harm. He was huge, towering and bulky, like a bodyguard. And he looked vaguely familiar. I stuttered out another apology, to which he responded with a grunt and an appraising stare.

He turned his gaze to Edward, and for a fraction of a second I saw a look of hatred in his eyes. But, it was gone as quickly as it came, so I just shrugged it off and left with my hand clasped tightly in Edward's.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

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**AN: Hey there! Thanks so much for the warm welcome back! It was great to see that there are still some readers out there and I loved hearing from some of you as well :) Enjoy!**

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I love a good lazy Sunday afternoon. It is the one time during the week that is free of responsibilities and obligations and I don't take that time for granted. In fact, I am taking full advantage of it right now. With my feet propped up on the coffee table as I watch the game, it is pretty nearly perfection. The only thing that could add to the enjoyment would be Edward's presence by my side.

And fortunately, I won't have to wait much longer for that to be a reality. He should actually be here any minute.

It is amazing how fast our relationship has progressed and how comfortable we have become with one another, in such a short time. Yet we still have much to discuss. Like where we stand with each other.

I feel like he is my boyfriend and I want to be able to voice that, but I don't know how he feels. And I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our relationship.

On top of that, I have yet to see his place or learn anything about it. And there is still this nagging feeling that he is not telling me something. Something big. Something that has to do with his reluctance to become more physical… and whatever happened to cause those fears.

It's been hard to bring all this up, because things have been going so well. I don't want to ruin what we have. But, I guess if we're ever going to have a real shot, then we're going to need to talk about these things and deal with them.

I just don't want to bombard him with questions. But, I have to suck it up and do it, because it's driving me crazy not to know.

So, I am determined to get at least one of these things out in the open today. I hope he won't run away though. I'm in too deep now and I really don't want to lose him. That thought scares me. Which I guess is why I haven't pushed to talk about these things before.

But it has to happen eventually, so it might as well be today. Right?

My musings were interrupted by a knock at the door, from none other than their source - Edward.

I opened the door and let my eyes rove over the man that has become so important to me. Dressed simply, in a fitted t-shirt and hip hugging jeans…those piercing green eyes staring back into mine…so beautiful. He never ceases to take my breath away.

"Hey," I said softly.

"Hey yourself," he replied with a smile.

He reached out for my hands and we twined our fingers together, sharing a brief kiss before I pulled him inside.

We chatted for a bit as we curled up on the couch together, his head resting on my chest. I draped my arm around him, and entwined our fingers once again, loving the feel of his warm hand in mine.

I began toying with his fingers and trying to work up the courage to bring up the big stuff.

He must have sensed my nerves, as he shifted to look into my eyes, asking, "What's up baby?"

I took an audible breath and dove in headfirst. "What are we?"

"Huh?" was his confused response to my not so eloquent question.

"I mean…well…I know how I feel, but I guess I just… want to know what you're thinking," I stammered. And from the look on his face, I knew that I still hadn't explained myself very clearly.

"Okay," I continued. "What I'm trying, and horribly failing, to say is that I really like you Edward."  
He opened his mouth to respond, but I cut him off. I knew I had to keep going or this was never going to come out right.

"So…yeah, I really like you…a lot. And I want to know where we stand." I took another deep breath before blurting, "I only want to be with you. I don't want to see anyone else and I hope you don't either. I really want to call you my boyfriend, but I don't know if it's too soon or if you want that too? And I'm going crazy here. I just really need to know what you're thinking."

He just stared at me for a moment before snorting out a chuckle.

But, before I had time to be offended, he spoke, "Emmett, I've been wanting to ask you the same thing for a while."

"You have?" I asked uncertainly.

He squeezed my hand and answered softly, "Yeah, I have. I really like you too Emmett. And, as I said before I am falling for you…I'm really falling for you."

I couldn't do anything but smile, as my heart began to race.

"I uh…" he nearly whispered, "I'm not seeing anyone else and I don't want to. It's only you, Emmett… I would love to be your boyfriend."

"Yeah?" I whispered in return with a huge grin.

"Yeah," he breathed out as I crashed my lips into his.

I maneuvered our bodies as we continued to kiss, until he was lying underneath me, his head propped on the arm of the couch. Slowly, I began to move down his body, dropping kisses along the way.

I paid particular attention to a spot behind his ear, that I knew drove him crazy. He arched up under me as his hands roamed along my back. I looked up with a smirk before continuing my path down his neck, kissing and licking and nipping my way over his beautiful flesh.

His hands slipped underneath my shirt and began stroking my sides and then slid around to run over my abs. His touch was igniting a fire deep within me and I couldn't help but groan as I fiercely claimed his lips once again.

In the next moments, our shirts were tossed aside, providing more terrain for my hungry lips to travel.

And travel they did, until I reached the top edge of his jeans. I made a split second decision and pulled away.

"Come here beautiful," I said, reaching for his hands. He complied easily as I dragged him toward the bedroom. I really wanted to try something new, and I hoped he would be okay with it.

We hadn't gone very far, physically, and I knew he wasn't ready yet. I had told him we could take things slow, and I meant it. I would wait as long as he needed, even if it killed me.

So far, our encounters have been limited to kissing, touching, and blow jobs. And it has been incredible. But, of course, I want more… someday.

The rest of our clothing was soon pooled at the foot of the bed as our lips hungrily claimed one another's. I could kiss this man forever. The taste and the smell of him pervaded my senses as I steered us onto the downy comforter.

"I want to try something," I whispered against his ear.

He tensed minutely, put didn't protest.

I lowered my body to his, aligning my hardness against his own as I licked the shell of his ear. I began to move, slowly rubbing and grinding our erections together. He moaned and shuddered beneath me and I answered with a deep groan.

With one hand fisted in that silky smooth, crazy sexy hair, I rolled us so we were on our sides - facing each other. I leisurely ran my other hand down his spine and along his hip and thigh, before cupping his inner knee and wrapping his leg over me.

As we continued to devour each other's mouths, I released my grip on his hair and let my fingers run teasingly over his nipples and abdomen until they found their destination. I gripped his weeping erection firmly and began to stroke him, spreading the sticky substance over his sensitive skin.

"Mmm, Emmett… that feels good baby," he breathed as his hand reached down and rubbed over my hardened length, reciprocating the gesture.

"Yeah…so good," I groaned in reply.

We continued to stroke and caress with hands and tongues. My free hand began inching upwards along his thigh and over his backside. I began kneading his firm globes, loving their feel beneath my fingers.

I lightly traced a finger down the crevice of his cheeks causing him to jerk and look to me nervously.

"Shh," I soothed, as my thumb traced soft circles over his hipbone.

I tried to reassure him, saying, "Don't worry beautiful. I just want to try something…okay?"

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded… although he didn't look completely convinced.

I scooted forward a little so our erections were brushing against one another and opened my hand to grip us simultaneously. I continued to caress his hipbone and backside as I began pumping our hardened members slowly. I ran my thumb over our heads, mixing our juices together and it felt so good.

He threw his head back and growled at the gesture. It was beautiful. In fact, he'd never looked so beautiful to me, and I told him so. I repeated the movement a few times and became lost in the raw, unadulterated pleasure of the moment.

"Oh…Emmett, baby, that feels so good…" he rasped out.

I couldn't have agreed more.

"Help me Edward," I managed to get out.

He linked his fingers in mine, to help cover what I couldn't, and together we stroked ourselves closer and closer to climax.

His hips began bucking up into mine and I could tell he was getting close. I was hanging on by a thread myself. The feeling of both our hands on me, combined with his hardness pressing and rubbing into mine… it was too much.

I could barely concentrate, but I began rubbing the fingers of my other hand more firmly over his behind. I stroked them down his crevice until I came to his puckered hole. With his leg still wrapped over my hip, it exposed him to me perfectly. I was careful not to enter him, but I lightly tapped and encircled his most secret area as our hands began to fly over our erections.

I could feel myself coming undone and begged him to join me. "Oh God …I'm so close. You are so beautiful Edward… come with me beautiful."

He groaned and mumbled incoherently and I felt the beginnings of his warm release trickle over my fingers. I couldn't hold on anymore and came explosively, with Edward's name on my lips.

We continued pumping slowly and kissing languorously as we came down from our mutual high. I was shaking and shuddering from the sheer force of my orgasm.

My breathing finally began to slow and I pulled back to look into his eyes. I wanted reassurance that I hadn't pushed him too far.

"You okay beautiful?"

He smiled breathlessly, "Yeah baby… I'm just perfect."

After a few minutes, I reluctantly got up to retrieve a wet washcloth to clean myself, before returning to clean off my amazing man.

"Will you stay?" I whispered after cleaning his skin and ridding him of the last traces of our mutual release.

"Yeah…of course," he answered, reaching to pull me back down onto the bed.

As we laid there softly stroking each other, I asked another question that had been burning through my mind. I couldn't help it.

"So, uh…when can I see your place?"


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22  
**

**AN: Hello? Anybody out there? Wow, I never intended to be away from writing for this long. But, life has a way of changing things. I sincerely apologize for the delay and hope that you are still interested in this story. You may need to go back and do some rereading, I know I did! **

**If you care to know some of my reasons for delay, they are as follows: I lost my 3 year old dog, which was devastating to me. Two months later, a really good friend passed away and I am still working through that loss – she was 28. Besides that, I now work 3 jobs and have so many interests and activities that pull me away from writing. But, I still plan to finish this, however long it takes.**

**Final note of warning – we are headed into some heavy material here. And there will be more to come in the upcoming chapters, as Edward reveals his story. It may be a trigger for some, so please be aware.**

**And now, on with the show…**

**...**

Well crap.

I felt Edward stiffen in my arms and wanted to kick myself for blurting out my thoughts in typical Emmett fashion. Apparently, I just had to go and ruin our blissful moment.

Yet, I felt kind of relieved as well. It was out there now and I'd finally gotten it off my chest.

But, whether he would answer or not was yet to be determined.

The seconds and minutes ticked by with still no response from Edward. He wouldn't even look at me.

I wished he would do or say something. Anything.

Internally, I was going crazy. I could have told him to forget it and let him off the hook. But, I really didn't want to. That may sound mean, but I needed to hear his response. This was too important and he would have to say something eventually. Hopefully.

So, I waited and continued stroking my hands over his skin – hoping to sooth and give him some space to answer.

We must have laid there for a good ten minutes before he took a deep breath and began to speak.

"I, uh… well, I guess there's still a lot you don't know about me," he began haltingly.

We were facing each other, but he still wasn't making eye contact and I could feel the nerves and tension radiating from him. I just continued to touch him trying to be as patient and unobtrusive as possible.

"I told you once that I had some bad experiences, and I … I just don't trust very easily. It's very…difficult …for me to let people in. I guess that I've been avoiding showing you my place…because… then it's all too real. If something were to go wrong… or if we were to… or just…I can't…"

He was panicking, his whole body shaking, and I wasn't sure what to do about it.

"Hey," I said quietly. "It's okay Edward. Just breathe and take your time. I'm not going anywhere and I don't want you to feel pressured into anything. I just feel like you're holding back on me a bit and I want to know all of you… But, for now, just breathe."

And he did. He took some deep, calming breaths and finally looked into my eyes.

His beautiful green eyes were filled with fear, but also determination, and maybe a little bit of…I'm not really sure. Awe maybe? Or just - something else. Something that I couldn't quite distinguish.

He looked so vulnerable at that moment.

...

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE ***EE***

...

**EDWARD'S POINT OF VIEW**

**...**

When I finally looked up at him and saw the caring and concern in his eyes, I knew that I could do this. I could tell the man that I'm falling in love with about my past. I knew I could trust him, as I've known intuitively since we met.

It's just so hard for me to trust and a part of me always wants to try to guard and protect myself, so that I don't get hurt. Again. Because I will never go through what I did. Never again. And I have to look out for myself. But, Emmett…my Emmett is trustworthy. When I think of how much I've already opened up to him…physically and mentally and in every way… I know I can talk to him about anything.

He continued to run his hands over my body, grounding me and making me feel safe. He gave me a small, reassuring smile and I launched into my story. More like shakily stumbled into it.

"You see…it all began when I was little…" I looked into his eyes and gathered some strength to continue. "I…uh, I was molested…as a child." I gulped as his hands faltered a bit and then squeezed my arms, before continuing their path along my body.

I stared at his chest and pushed forward, "My Mom's cousin…B-Bill…he was…he was always so nice to me. We would play catch in the back yard of our house and he always brought me a new pack of baseball cards. I was kind of a shy kid, and he was a really good friend to me."

I glanced up and saw Emmett's gaze completely focused on me. It was so intense that I had to look away again. I had to keep some amount of composure if I was ever going to get through this.

"So…yeah. I was about five years old when he started touching me. I was sitting on his lap while we watched a movie and he just put his hand…on my crotch. I didn't really get what he was doing, but I knew it wasn't normal behavior. I…I was uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything. I didn't want to make him mad at me…so we just sat and watched the rest of the movie and he didn't do anything else…It was all very gradual. I guess…he knew what he was doing…and he sort of…worked up to the bigger stuff over time and I didn't know what to do about it….He watched me a lot, when my parents had to work, and I always knew that when he asked me to sit on his lap….that was when…I always tried to avoid it…come up with an excuse or run over to the cupboard and pick out a game….anything to prolong the inevitable."

I could feel myself trembling, but now that the tale had begun, I had to get it out. This certainly wasn't the worst of it anyhow. My life is so screwed up. If Emmett could possibly want me when this is all out in the open…well, I better not think that way.

Okay, another deep breath. I can do this.

"It continued for years. He would find little ways to touch me or say things that made me….just uncomfortable. The touching became…increasingly sexual…through the years. It was so hard, because I loved him. He really was my friend and there were so many times where we had fun and he listened to me and none of this…stuff would occur. I was…so confused by it.

"The turning point came when I was ten. My parents had gone out to dinner and a play for their anniversary and…he…he was to stay the night with me, since they were going to be home so late.

"I knew….the whole week leading up to that night…I was so nervous and on edge. I just knew something was going to happen. I actually threw a tantrum a few days before, like a little child, begging my parents not to go. I never acted that way and they knew how much I loved cousin Bill, so they couldn't understand. They were disappointed that I wouldn't let them have this one grownup night to themselves. I…felt so bad that they thought I was trying to ruin their time together. I apologized and didn't say another word about it…

"When they finally got home, around two in the morning…and they came to check on me….they saw…they saw us and they… they…"

I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I felt them running down my cheeks and took comfort in Emmett's soothing motions and in knowing that this event was long over with. But, something like this never fully leaves you.

"I knew what he was doing was wrong. I never…encouraged him. I always tried to distract him and find something else for us to do…but I never came out and told him to stop…I was just…a scared kid, I guess. That night, he had…he had crawled into bed with me, after I was asleep….I woke up…my clothes were gone…he had his mouth on my…on my… on me. And when he realized that I was awake, he smiled at me. Took my hand…and put it on him…on his…it was….I was so scared. That's when my parents walked in….

"I felt like I was caught…like it was all my fault…like I was dirty…bad. After the initial shock of seeing us like that, my Mom burst into tears and my Dad…well…I never saw him so mad."

My voice took on a whisper, as I struggled to finish out the story.

"He tore Bill away from me and started punching…and even swearing. I had never heard him swear before, or seen him be physically violent with anyone. I just…I just curled up into a ball and sobbed. Eventually my Mom came over and held me, sobbing with me….I never saw Bill again. And, as much as I was scared of him, and glad not to be around him… I still missed him and the friendship that we had. I always felt like…I was sick for missing someone who had treated me that way….I…."

My voice trailed off. I couldn't go on any longer.

I looked up for the first time in so many minutes, and saw that Emmett was crying with me. He was hurting for me.

He started to speak, almost in a whisper," I am so…so sorry Edward. God, I can't even…imagine. But, it wasn't your fault." His eyes took on a steely quality and his voice became firmer and more determined as he continued, "Don't ever think it was your fault. You were just a kid, and it's only natural that you would love and want to continue the good parts of your relationship with your cousin. There is nothing wrong with that. He was the adult. He was the one…"

I felt myself being dragged forward as Emmett's speech faltered and he pulled me tight to him, embracing me in his strong, yet gentle arms.

Somehow, I felt the need to comfort him as well. "It's okay Emmett," I said softly, reassuring myself as much as him. "It's over now…I've been through therapy, and…and Bill's been dead…for a few years now. He had a heart attack…I'm okay."

"I know," he replied in a gruff voice. "I know you're okay now, but I'm just….I'm so freaking sorry Ed..."

"I know you are, Em. I know."

We held each other tight, neither wanting to let go. Eventually the tightness of our embrace lessened, and we gradually relaxed and drifted off to sleep.

Before I succumbed to slumber I couldn't help wondering how he would handle the rest of my story and issues. This was nothing compared to the rest.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**...**

**AN: And we're back to Emmett's POV…**

**...**

I awoke with Edward still wrapped in my arms. I didn't ever want to let him go. I can't even begin to describe what I felt while listening to his story. It was a jumble of emotions, ranging from horror to sadness to anger. And now, I just feel this overwhelming need to protect.

I turned my eyes to the clock and groaned internally. As much as I wanted to hold Edward forever, I was due at work in an hour. So, I left a lingering kiss on his forehead and gently extracted myself from his arms.

After grabbing a shower and a quick bite, I peeked back in the bedroom to find my sweet Edward curled around my pillow and sleeping soundly. I jotted a quick note to let him know I was sorry that I had to rush off, and laid it on the table, next to his phone.

As soon as I got to the office, I was bombarded with memos and messages galore. More client referrals, follow-ups with current clients, and an urgent message from Aro himself. I heaved a sigh and mentally prepared for whatever Mr. Marcus would have to say. Hopefully it was good news and business related. I told Chelsea to make sure I was not disturbed as I returned the calls and she swiftly assured me she would hold the masses at bay.

First up was Mr. Marcus. As uneasy as he made me, I knew I couldn't keep him waiting. So, I steeled myself and dialed his number.

After just two rings, he answered gruffly, "Aro Marcus here."

"Good morning Aro, this is Emmett McCarty," I began with business-like pleasantness.

"Ah, just the man I was hoping to speak to," he gushed, a saccharine tone overtaking the gruffness of just moments earlier.

"What can I do for you sir?"

"Emmett, you wound me. I thought we were past all those formalities by now. It's Aro, if you please."

"Of course, Aro, excuse my thoughtlessness. Now, what can I do for you this morning?"

"I have a few changes that I would like to discuss with you in person, Emmett. How about lunch at one o'clock this afternoon?"

Well, crap. I was really not looking forward to more face time with Aro. Especially out of the office, where he'd probably feel even freer to come on to me. But, I could hardly turn him down. This was too important and if I screwed up it would not only ruin my reputation, but I'd be fired for sure.

I ran a hand over my face in frustration, but replied as calmly as possible, "Yes, of course, I'll just arrange my schedule. Did you have any particular place in mind?"

"Oh, not to worry my dear Emmett," he purred, "I will have a limo waiting to pick you up outside the office at one pm sharp. Until then…"

And he hung up, just like that. I obviously had no say in the matter, though even if the conversation had continued - it would have doubtlessly come to the same conclusion. A private lunch meeting with Aro… God help me.

The rest of the morning was spent frantically trying to catch up on all my other calls and paperwork, before the big event. I had already informed my boss that I would be taking an extra long lunch break. And, once he found out the reason, he encouraged me to take as long as necessary, even the rest of the day. Just what I wanted to hear. Note the sarcasm.

I decided to close things down for the day, just in case, and made my way to the elevator. Feeling nervous, I tried breathing deeply to get a grip on myself as I descended towards the lobby. When I exited the silver doors, I immediately spied the limo out front. I straightened my tie and walked as confidently as possible to meet my fate, or doom as it were.

The driver was another stocky, bodyguard type – of which Aro seemed to prefer to surround himself with. He seemed friendly enough as he greeted me and opened the door for me to enter the car. I was surprised to find the cab empty, other than a bottle of champagne and a card. Thank God for small favors – at least I wouldn't be riding next to the man in the enclosed space.

I scooted into the cab and picked up the card addressed to '_Dearest Emmett_.' It read:

_Please accept my deepest apologies for not accompanying you to our luncheon. _

_I was otherwise detained, but I will see you shortly. Please enjoy the champagne._

_Yours, Aro _

That man was a piece of work. I set aside the card as well as the champagne and basked in my last moments of freedom before the looming luncheon.

The freedom was short-lived as we soon stopped in front of our destination… an upscale restaurant on Mt. Washington, Monterey Bay. Located atop the Grandview Point Apartment Building, it's well-known for its wonderful view of the city skyline.

That figures. He would choose a pricey place with a romantic atmosphere. At least this was lunch, rather than dinner. But, frankly, I was just thankful we weren't at his private condo – wherever it may be.

I took a fortifying breath as the driver opened the door for me, straightened my suit jacket, and headed in for what was sure to be an interesting event.

I was greeted at the door by an overeager young man, who nearly stormed over me in his haste to welcome me to the establishment. "Hello," he greeted warmly, if exuberantly, "Welcome to Monterey Bay, sir. You must be Mr. Marcus' guest, Emmett?"

I shook my head in the affirmative as he continued without pause, "Yes sir, I thought so. We are so pleased to have you dine with us this afternoon. If you would just follow me, please. Mr. Marcus has booked our Signature Wine Room for your dining today. I am sure you will find it to your satisfaction."

I followed him obediently as he prattled on, "Please do not hesitate to let us know if there is anything we can get for you, sir. Anything at all."

At this he abruptly stopped, nearly causing me to collide with him. He turned and looked right into my eyes, stating seriously, "Sir, you will find that we are _very_ discreet here at the Bay and we will be happy to provide for _any _of your needs during your visit. Mr. Marcus is a very special client and as his guest, please be assured that we are here to accommodate you." He gave me a knowing smile and a wink, before continuing down the hall.

Well, that sounds just wonderful. What have I gotten myself into?

I didn't have time to think on it, as I was ushered into the Wine Room.

The space was quite large, for a private room, looking like it could seat thirty or so people. Yet it was completely reserved for our meeting. The décor was elegant, yet masculine – with beautiful wood furnishings and racks of wine covering an entire wall. Even in the daylight, the room was filled with candles and lowly lit sconces. Two more walls were made up of floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city. It was quite beautiful, and may have served well for a group business meeting under other circumstances.

But, my eyes were drawn to a candlelit table in a corner near the windows – where Aro sat with a predatory grin on his face. Yes, there was no mistaking his intent or the host's words about discretion. Aro definitely had expectations about this meeting. Expectations which I was certain to disappoint.

He stood and took my hand in greeting, not a handshake mind you, more of a tender grasping of a close friend or lover. He wishes.

"Welcome, my dear Emmett. Please have a seat." He went so far as to pull out my chair for me and to open the skillfully folded napkin and place it on my lap. "I hope that this room is to your liking?" he purred as he reclaimed the seat next to mine.

"Yes," I responded candidly, "I have heard great things about the food here. Now what is it that you would like to discuss this afternoon?"

"Oh, Emmett," he nearly giggled. "You are too much. Let us enjoy this luxurious meal and then we can talk business. Let's save the boring details for later, shall we?"

Internally, I rolled my eyes, but nodded my head in polite agreement.

We proceeded to talk of inconsequential things, while enjoying our elaborate seven course meal. Not exactly the typical working lunch menu. However, it was quite delicious with dishes ranging from fruits and cheeses, to crab cake, stuffed mushrooms, salmon, filet mignon, and swordfish.

Each course was paired with an accompanying wine, which Aro continued to insist that I drink. His pushiness was almost as frustrating to me as his blatant come-ons. I have never been a drinker and am even more cautious due to my cancer diagnosis and the medications I am taking.

There is no way I would put my health at risk for a glass of wine, or rather a half dozen, especially for Aro's sake. Not to mention, I would never let my guard down around him and alcohol would certainly lower my inhibitions.

Of course, he wouldn't take the hint and kept coaxing me at every turn to, "Just give it a taste, Emmett." I wasn't about to let him in on my personal reasons for abstaining and continued to respectfully decline.

Unfortunately, he saw my reluctance as a great excuse to touch me. Whether putting his hand over mine, running his fingers down my arm or putting a 'friendly' hand on my thigh, All of which I immediately shifted away from with tact, but firmness.

For that reason, among others, I was thrilled when the desert course finally arrived.

Yet, even that quickly turned to disappointment. The molten chocolate cake with raspberry sauce and ice cream was served on one plate with two spoons. How romantic. And how very business-like.

Finally, we got down to the matter at hand. Which was discussed and settled within twenty minutes. During that time, Aro was all business – no sign to be found of the hands-y, flirtatious man of mere moments ago. Not that I'm complaining.

When the exchange was complete, he walked me out to the limo, his hand resting on my back and sliding gradually lower with every step. It was all I could do not to shake him off and give him a piece of my mind. If I could just play it cool for a couple more minutes, I would be on my way.

"Well, Emmett," he said in his syrupy way, "I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did today.

Not likely.

"Of course, Aro," I responded appropriately by shaking his hand with a firm grip. If it was a little too firm, then sue me. "It was a pleasure doing business with you."

"Ah, now you know the pleasure was all mine," he sighed. "It is unfortunate that I cannot accompany you in the car today. Alas, I have some other business to attend to."

"Not a problem," I responded jovially. "Thank you for lunch and I will give you a call in a few days with some of those figures we discussed."

"Yes, I will look forward to it – very much so. Do take care of yourself Emmett. I look forward to…seeing you again soon." His eyes were beginning to wander over my body and the time had long passed for me to be well on my way out of there.

"Yes," I said abruptly, "have a good day and I'll phone you soon. Good-bye." I gave a quick wave as I stepped nearer to the car, alerting the driver that I was ready to go.

"Well, good-bye then, my dear charming Emmett. I look forward to our next meeting!"

As soon as the car door was closed, I let out an exasperated huff and slumped back against my seat. Thank God for tinted windows. I couldn't wait to get back to my own car and head straight home, where I would hopefully be seeing Edward.

I hated having to leave him today, particularly in light of last night's disclosure. I just hope he is doing okay. Thankfully the meeting from hell is over and I can go focus on my sweet man who deserves lots of affection and care.

…  
**AN:** **Well, I'm on a roll – two chapters in a month! Hope this makes up for lost time, though I don't expect to keep up this pace for too long. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I would love to hear your thoughts, critiques, whatever. It means so much to hear from the readers out there!**


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: Hello all! My summer vacations are behind me and I have some more time on my hands, hence the new chapter! It's not long, but I hope you enjoy **

…

**Chapter 24**

…

Edward was waiting for me when I returned home. With takeout from our favorite Asian place laid out on the table and a shy smile on his face.

"Hey babe," I greeted with my most sincere smile of the day.

"Hey yourself," he responded as he walked forward and gently embraced me.

I gripped him tightly, pressing my face into his neck and just breathing him in. "God, I missed you today," I whispered, my words coming out a bit more emotion-filled than I had planned.

He just squeezed me a bit tighter, before pulling back to look into my eyes.

"Everything okay baby?" he asked with concern.

"Yeah, just a crap day. And, I really wanted to be with you… not run out the door before you even woke up. I'm sorry." Just seeing Edward again brought back that overwhelming feeling of protectiveness.

"Hey, Em, it's okay," he soothed. "I am fine…and your note was really sweet."

"Yeah?"

He responded with an unhurried kiss that left me wanting more. "Yeah," he breathed.

"Well, come on." He pulled me further into the room. "Why don't you change and come relax with me. I ordered some food."

"Sounds perfect," I agreed. "Just give me a couple minutes."

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE ***EE***

Our evening together was perfectly relaxing. There was no talk of my day with Aro or of Edward's past. We both silently agreed to just enjoy each other's company and simply be together. It was exactly what I needed and seemed to be what Edward needed as well.

There is a time and place for serious discussions and a time for quiet companionship. Both were important and necessary to our relationship. We seemed to be finding a good balance between the two and it gave me great hope for our future together.

I was so glad that Edward still felt comfortable with my touch and with being held after all the experiences he's been through. It certainly gave me more insight into his reluctance to move forward with our physical relationship. I had vowed before to take things slow with him and I was even more determined to do so now. I would let him take the lead and let me know if and when he was ready for more. I never want to hurt my sweet, beautiful man.

We had been curled up on the couch for a while, just relaxing and watching a mindless comedy. I was pretty exhausted from the day's events and could feel myself beginning to nod off. I decided not to fight it. Edward had been spending the night more often than not, so I wasn't worried about that. Just as I was about to drift off, Edward broke in with a soft question that jarred me from all thoughts of sleep.

"Hey, Em? Do you think you'd like to have dinner at my place tomorrow night?"

It took my sleep-fogged mind a few moments to think clearly. Had he really just said that? His place? I was so shocked that my brain couldn't form the right words, so I reached for his hand and squeezed tight.

"Edward, I…are you sure you're ready for this? I just…I don't want to push you if you're not ready yet."

"No…I – I think….well, I…" he gripped my hand as he spoke softly and uncertainly. "Emmett, I trust you. There is…" he let out a sharp breath and continued, "There is still more about my past that I need to tell you…and to be honest…I don't think I am ready yet…But I will be someday and I…and I feel like I can tell you anything."

He looked up and met my eyes unwaveringly, even though he continued to stumble over his words. It was quite endearing. "Em, I am not ready to tell you…everything yet. But, I am ready to share this part… more of my life with you. You…you haven't pressured me at all. I need this and…yeah," his voice trailed off as he gave me a self deprecating smirk.

I gave him a heartfelt smile in return and took both his hands in mine. "Edward, thank you for trusting me. That means the world to me. And if you are ready, then dinner sounds like a plan." By the time I finished speaking my smile had turned into a huge grin. We were moving forward and he trusted me. That was everything.

"And just so you know," he said in a more confident and sultry voice, "I won't be serving mushroom risotto."

It took me a moment to catch his meaning. When I finally caught on, I punched his arm lightly in mock anger, before busting a gut with laughter.

Edward gave me an affectionate smile before giggling along with me.

"Good one Eddie," I breathed with amusement.

The humor ended abruptly the moment I spoke those words.

As soon as I called him Eddie, he stiffened visibly, his whole body tense. The easy camaraderie from just seconds before had vanished.

"Please don't call me that," he whispered with his eyes averted.

I was dumbfounded by his reaction. I don't even know why I called him that. It's always been Ed or Edward or beautiful or babe. Never Eddie. I guess this was the first and last time.

"I'm sorry Edward. I don't even know where that came from," I said sincerely as I shrugged my shoulders.

He relaxed minutely, but still wouldn't look at me.

"Hey, babe," I said softly as I cupped his face. "Really, I am sorry. It won't happen again. Forgive me?"

"It's okay Em…you didn't…I know you didn't mean anything by it…it's just…I just really don't like to be called…that…" He finally looked at me, his eyes bright with unshed tears.

God, could I ever get anything right where Edward was concerned? I always have to open my big mouth and shove my foot in it. What an idiot.

I opened my mouth to try and say – something, but he beat me to it, "Just…please forget it Em. Don't feel bad, baby. It's not your fault. Please…I'm just…" he choked on his words as a single tear spilled over.

"Shh," I soothed, "Okay beautiful. It's forgotten. No worries, babe."

We sat there for a few minutes, before the earlier exhaustion began to settle in again. "Come on," I said gently pulling my sweet man off the couch, "Let's go to bed, okay?"

"Yeah," he responded softly, "That sounds good. Sorry for freaking out on you."

"Hey," I chided, "No worries, remember."

He turned his head, giving me a chaste kiss and a soft smile.

"Okay then," I said, pulling him gently to the bed, where we collapsed and I fell asleep almost immediately.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

* * *

My day seemed to drag on forever. Edward was gone before I woke, as he had rounds at the medical center. And things continued to go downhill from there.

The hours that followed were filled with the monotony of paperwork, phone calls, and general business boredom. More and more I've found myself toying with the idea of giving up this job and starting out fresh. Although, I am making more money now than ever – thanks to Aro and the other clients he's sent my way. But, as I am currently experiencing, money does not buy happiness.

Shortly after my morning coffee break, I realized that I never got an address or meeting time from Edward. I still had no idea where his place was and no clue if our tenuous dinner plans were still on after my big mistake yesterday. He had said he wouldn't hold it against me, but I felt like our progress was at risk.

I decided to shoot him a text and find out.

**Hey Beautiful! Hope your day is going well. Just checking in on this evening's plans...let me know **

The day continued on in its dull regularity and there was no response from Edward. I was a nervous wreck and getting more anxious by the hour. At first, I made up good excuses for his lack of reply – he was probably busy doing rounds, talking with a supervisor, working with a patient, eating lunch, etc, etc. But, after about 6 hours, my imagined excuses were running thin and my imagination was running wild. Maybe I really had screwed everything up. Maybe he'd changed his mind. Maybe, maybe, maybe….

All the maybes were driving me crazy.

When my work day was done and still no word from my man, I began to full on panic.

I wanted to call him, but was feeling a bit hesitant. Maybe he really was doing something important and I was just being silly. I didn't know what to think.

Frustrated with myself, I made my way home and changed into some workout clothes. I took a quick 15 minute run, conscious of the time, and then returned to my apartment. There, I started doing pushups, just to get out some of my nervous energy. My phone was right next to me the whole time.

Next, I moved on to jumping jacks, followed by crunches, and then repeated the process all over again. After the 3rd round, I decided to grab a shower and pray for a missed call or text by the time I was finished.

No such luck.

I was hyped up, and scared out of my wits.

It was only six o'clock, but I was losing hope for our evening plans.

So, I decided to do the only thing I could think of to calm me down. I called Rosie.

We hadn't spoken in over a week and I knew my best friend could talk some sense into me, or at least distract me for a while.

"Hey Em, what's up?" she answered after the first ring.

"Hey Rose," I attempted to sound cheery. "How's it going?"

"Alright, spill it bud," she countered. "What's wrong?"

She always was too intuitive for her own good, especially where I was concerned.

"You know me too well woman," I responded with a smile.

"Of course I do. Well, let me hear it… You okay?" she prodded after a few beats of silence.

"I don't know Rose," I sighed, "I'm probably being stupid…"

"Well, what else is new?" she interrupted.

"Yeah, thanks a lot," I shot back. Typical Rose, always telling it like it is. That's why I love her.

"But, seriously Rosie, I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or under-reacting… I don't know if I should be more pushy and persistent or if it's time to back off and give some space?"

"Well honey, I think I'm going to need a bit more to go on before I can weigh in on this," she replied with sarcasm and an underlying concern in her tone.

"Right, well Edward finally invited me to his place."

"You're kidding!" Rose exclaimed.

"I know! I was pretty stoked…but now I don't know what to think."

"Because…?"

"Well…it was supposed to be for tonight and I texted him hours ago… and nothing all day," I lamented.

"What did you do, Em?" she scolded.

"Hey now," I defended myself, "what makes you think I did anything?"

"Oh, give it a rest Emmett. I know you. Speak first, think later. So what did you say this time?"

"I take offense to that…" I huffed. "But, I called him Eddie and he freaked out a bit. I mean…he has revealed some of his past to me…and it's so awful Rose. He's been through a lot and I don't even know all of it yet. And I think… I think that name must have brought back some bad memories for him. But, he assured me that everything was okay between us and I thought he was right, but…" I trailed off.

"Now he won't talk to you," she finished for me.

"Right," I responded glumly.

"Well," she began after a thoughtful pause, "I really don't think he's mad at you. It was an honest mistake and he basically said as much. He's probably just scared Em. If he's been through some rough times and has confided in you…then he's probably feeling exposed and afraid."

"Maybe you're right, but what do I do? Should I just leave him be until he's ready? I don't want to push him too hard and scare him away."

"Emmett, my silly old bear, you may think you are scary but it's just not so. You might stick your foot in your mouth and act like a fool, but you're just a big softie and you are never too pushy. If Edward's scared, it's because of him and not you…I think you should call him," she finished matter-of-factly.

"But…" I began.

"No buts," she said firmly. "Don't waste your time with texts. Get off of this phone right now and call your man. Be your sensitive, caring self and just talk to him. If he's not ready for you to come by, then tell him you'll wait."

"Of course I'll wait. I've already told him that I don't want to rush him into anything. I think I …I'm in love with him Rosie. I just don't want to lose him."

"Em, calling him and being honest is not going to make you lose him. Truly. And if it does, then he isn't worthy of you."

"I guess…" I allowed.

"Ok Em. I am hanging up right now and you are going to call Edward. I will call you in 15 minutes to check in and if you haven't called him by then…well you don't want to know what I'm going to do to you," she threatened.

"Ooh, I'm shaking," I joked, though Rose could be quite terrifying and I had no doubt she would put me in my place.

"Well, you should be! Emmett, I love you. Call Edward, now!"

And she hung up on me. Just like that.

Gotta love my Rosie.

I didn't waste any time and dialed the number to my sweet and confusing man, before I could lose my nerve. If my hands were a bit shaky and sweaty, thankfully no one was here to see it.

It went straight to voicemail. Of course it did. I groaned loudly, threw the phone on the couch, and put my head in my hands.

Then I took a deep breath, counted to ten and tried again.

It rang.

It rang again.

Then it stopped.

Silence.

"He-Hello?" came the shaky answer. The voice was too quiet to distinguish, but it almost sounded feminine.

"Edward? Is that you?" I asked unsurely.

The line remained silent before erupting in a flurry of noise and commotion. It sounded as if the phone was being stomped on or possibly thrown into a blender. And mixed between the jarring thuds, I could hear voices and whispers, like the phone was being passed through a crowd.

Finally the racket ceased, and a high tinkling female voice spoke, "This must be the famous Emmett that I've heard so much about. I can't wait to finally meet you. Edward, here, has kept you away from me for much too long. It simply isn't fair."

"Right. And you are?" I questioned.

"Oh silly me," she continued merrily. "I'm Alice! I am busy trying to talk Edward into keeping your dinner date for tonight. You should see all the work he's put into this meal. You're going to love it! Oh, and his outfit is to die for! I helped him pick it out myself, and my taste is impeccable if I must say. You will be absolutely drooling when you see him. That is, if he gets over himself enough to actually talk to you…"

Her discourse was interrupted by more thuds and hushed murmurs, until a familiar voice came on the line.

"Emmett…hi," was uttered uncertainly.

"Hey beautiful," I said instantly calming. "What the heck was all that?"

He snorted a bit before answering, "Oh, that's my best friend Alice. She likes to talk a lot and she's rather pushy…hey!" he yelped in response to what I can only assume was Alice's form of retaliation.

"So…yeah," he continued more seriously. "I owe you an apology Emmett. I'm sorry that I blew off your text today. I…well I guess I was kind out freaked out about tonight. I really want you to come over, but I guess…I just…"

"You're not ready yet?" I reasoned.

"I want to be ready," he whispered. "You mean so much to me Emmett and I want to be ready for this."

"It's okay Edward. If you're not ready, then you're not. I can wait," I assured him.

"But I don't want you to always be waiting for me to get it together. It's not fair," he complained in a much firmer voice.

"Ed, babe, this is a relationship. I care about you and right now you need some time. That's okay. But, please don't shut me out. If you're scared or nervous or whatever, just please tell me. It killed me today, not knowing what was going on or what you were thinking."

"I'm sorry," he responded in a small voice.

"I'm not berating you babe. I just want you to know that I am here and I need to know what's going on. Even if it's bad news or if you need some space from me. Just, please keep me in the loop."

"Yeah…you're right Emmett. I'm kind of a sucky boyfriend."

"Hey, that's my man you're talking about!" I exclaimed.

He giggled and I could hear the smile in his voice as he said, "Okay, okay. Thanks baby."

"Sure thing."

"So…" he began quietly, "I think…would you…do you still want to come over?"

I paused for a moment before speaking. "Are you sure babe? I don't want you to feel pressured by me, or by Alice. It's okay if you're not ready. Really Edward."

"I know Em. I believe you…and that's why I want you to come over. I won't lie and say that I'm not scared. I am a bit of a mess, actually. But, please, will you come to dinner?"

I could almost feel him holding his breath in nervous anticipation of my reply. I couldn't keep him waiting, "Of course, Edward. I would love to. What's the address?"

***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE ***EE***

Edward's neighborhood was nice. Really nice. Not that my apartment was a dump or anything, but man this was a posh area. Huge homes, some Victorian in style and others more modern, but all marvelously maintained with picket fences and gorgeous gardens. I'd definitely never been to this area of town before.

When the GPS told me I'd arrived at my destination, my jaw dropped a little. My Edward had been seriously holding out on me. This was no ordinary apartment or townhouse, this was a full on beautiful home. Why the heck had we been hanging at my place?

Okay, I knew why. But still! I hadn't even gotten out of my car yet, and this place was awesome. It was not a mansion, or as huge as some of the other places in the area. But, it was a good size and had a sort of cottage-like charm to it.

Ivy trailed along the front wall of the two story red brick home, offset with green and brown trim. The front yard was fairly small, but lush with trees and flowers in vibrant autumn colors. I may as well have been looking at a postcard, or the cover of a _Better Homes and Gardens_ magazine.

Dang. My place paled in comparison to this. Actually, my place couldn't even begin to compare with this.

Suddenly, I was nervous. This was a really big deal. Edward was letting me into his home – his freaking incredible house – and into his life. What if I screwed it all up?

I breathed deep and wiped my sweating palms on my dark wash jeans. After stowing the GPS, I straightened my grey sport coat, and headed up the cobblestone walkway to the home of my sweet and secretive man.

I hesitated a moment, trying to decide whether to knock or ring the bell. Yeah, I'm a big dork. As I reached up to knock, the door flew open and I was attacked by a tiny creature, with spiky brown hair, who I could only assume was Alice.

She literally jumped on me, throwing her legs around my waist and squeezing me tighter than I would have thought possible for someone her size. After several long moments, that were quite awkward on my part, she jumped down, straightened my clothes for me and gave me a long appraising look. She then clapped her hands and giggled like a little fairy before squealing, "Hi Emmett! I'm Alice, if you hadn't guessed. And you are every bit as yummy as Edward said! And you smell good too!"

"Um, thanks?" I stuttered out.

And just then, my man appeared. He was shushing Alice and looking sweetly embarrassed at her comments. "That's enough Alice," he murmured quietly as he caught my eye. He gave me a shy smile and I returned it affectionately.

Alice was correct. Edward did look wonderful, in fitted grey trousers and a cream knitted sweater. Adding in the perfectly tousled hair and deep green eyes – I was struck, once again, by the beauty that was Edward.

We all hung there in a little moment of uncertainty. Normally I would have said something off the cuff and invited myself in, but this time was different. Entering this doorway was a big deal to Edward and I had to let him do the inviting. I think Alice realized that as well, because she seemed the type that would have already dragged me inside and given me the grand tour on her own.

"Well," Alice began in a more subdued manner, "I'll just go and make sure the food's okay and then I'm outta here." Her tone brightened again as she continued, "It's good to finally meet you Emmett. Next time, I'm staying around and we'll talk!"

"Sounds good," I replied as she flitted forward and pecked me on the cheek.

She then leaned over and whispered quietly to Edward. Her lips were moving so fast, I couldn't even begin to comprehend what she was saying. After kissing him too, and giving me a final wave, she disappeared off to what I assumed was the kitchen.

And then it was just me and Edward, standing on opposite sides of the threshold and unsure of what the next move should be.

"Hey," he said quietly, after a few beats of silence.

"Hey babe," I answered just as softly.

"So, yeah… This is my place."

"It's beautiful, Edward," I said with a smile. "And so are you."

"Thanks. I, uh…" he was shifting nervously from one foot to the other and I just couldn't take it anymore.

I reached across and took his hand in mine. I didn't step forward or say anything, but he squeezed my hand, nodded and heaved a large sigh.

"Please, come in Emmett," he said, eyes filled with sincerity.

"Yeah?" I asked just to be sure.

"Yeah," he replied with a small smile.


End file.
